Chapter 491) Blaine-ified

“Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.”

-Benjamin Franklin

San Myshuno
Senator Suites Penthouse (Nick, Addy and Ryan's home)

Standing in Nick and Addy’s penthouse next to Mauro, who was looking handsome as ever, for yet another one of their – I guess it would be a exit party of sorts, celebrating another successful remodel, I honestly lost count how many times this place has been remodeled since I was born – but this time it had been remodeled to change ownership back to my parents, as Nick, Addy and Ryan were moving into a house with a yard in Newcrest. I was just swapping out my empty champagne glass for a full one when Bianca and Gavin arrived.

They were late. Of course. They were ALWAYS late. Eyeroll.

I waved at them from where I stood, Gav waved back, Bianca waved too and blew me kisses, but I stayed where I was, listening to Mauro boring Hailey and Maddie with ramblings about his latest business trip to Sulani, mentioning we should go there together on his yacht, and that I should really come see him at his villa in Tartosa and blah blah blah, while I watched my bestie and Gavin make their rounds greeting everyone first. A lot of the guests were from out of town and we didn’t see them much, so courtesy dictated snuggling each of them individually. I had to do the same when I got here earlier, plus introduce Mauro to those who had not met him yet.

I knew Bee would find me when she was done with the welcome ritual, and man, I needed Mauro’s pretty mouth to stop moving, he was irritating me something bad, even though he had been nothing but a complete gentleman since he arrived at my home last night. Luckily, I was saved by the bell, or rather my grandpa Blaine, who started an impromptu singing match with Chase, Colton and Connor, cheered on by most guests looking on. Let’s just say it got loud. THANK YOU grandpa, Chase, Colton and Connor!

I turned to watch them for a moment, to laugh at the silly lyrics along with everyone else when they sang “have you ever put butter on a Poptart – it’s so friggin gooood … if you haven’t then I think you should …‘ in a chorus of four.

Still laughing at the chorus, I felt someone touch my arm and say something, but couldn’t hear, turned to them to find Bianca looking like a fish under water, I shrugged and pointed at my ears, so she raised her voice, right in the very moment when the boys abruptly stopped making music.

As a Fine Arts graduate and musician myself, I knew that was intentional and called a caesura. Well, such a caesura was the worst place for my best friend to repeat her question, extra-loud too, as now her words echoed through the entire dining area, kitchen and living room

“… shouldn’t be drinking alcohol, it’s bad for the baby!”

I swear the last word literally echoed a few times, the only sound left as the world came to a screeching halt and all heads turned to me.

Ah, crapsicles!
Gulp!

So much for keeping that a secret.
Horrified, in my peripheral vision I saw Mauro nearly drop his champagne flute, at the opposite end of the room among the sea of faces staring me down I saw my mom and dad’s facial expressions derail and literally watched their hair turn a few shades grayer.

Nick was spitting the last sip of champagne he had taken back into the flute to cough uncontrollably, Rohan was next to him just staring at me, everyone did, so I slammed my glass into Bianca’s chest and ran out of the apartment.

“Ah fuck me a goddamn duck now! Yeah, everyone just keep doing the Walt Disney, I got this, I guess!” Blaine grumbled, his tone oozing sarcasm, just before he vanished into the usual black cloud.

Chestnut Ridge
Jack's Cabin

In another part of the country, a few hours after the incident at Nick’s party, Jack looked up from cleaning Trapper’s hooves when two black clouds popped up out of nowhere, revealing two men, which he acquitted with a disgruntled huff, as he continued his task.

After talking among themselves for a moment, one took a few steps towards him, while the other one hung back.

“Hey, are you Jack?”

Jack rose up and looked at the stranger.

“Depends on who’s asking.” he told him.

“I am asking. So, are you or ain’t ya?” the man pressed.

With a huff, Jack resumed his task. The visitor spoke again.

“Listen here, buddy, can you hold off on giving your horsey a mani-pedi and just answer me?”

“I don’t know you. This is private property, get lost before I get my shotgun.”

“Yeah, no, bad luck, chummy. Other than making ugly ass holes in my outfit and pissing me off that won’t do much good. Lemme smile REAL big at ya, so you get the memo.”

“I already know you two are Fangs. The dramatic entrance with the cloud gave it away. We don’t get many of you out here. For good reason. We ain’t as easy as city folk. Skin’s tough, our people are tougher. I have no business with vamps.” Jack said unimpressed.

“Except you do. You happen to know a pretty lil thang named Aria-Grace?” the man asked.

Jack closed his eyes and sighed.

“You’re the grandfather. I thought you looked familiar, now I realize you look a lot like her. Has to be you, I know most of the other Fangs in her family got unturned.”

“WOW, a smart cowboy. That I live to see the day. I haven’t known many of ya prairie jockeys, but some dude by the name of KC McCoy, he may be pretty to look at for the ladyfolk, but dumber than a box of icicles in the Sahara.”

“I would be careful saying that too loudly around this neck of the woods if I were you. KC’s son Sawyer lives here with his family and his parents visit them often. Everyone knows KC, he’s got quite a rep here, cos he likes to rumble and has been known to chase people with his shotgun after a couple drinks.”

“Yeah, he was always a lil prick that one, I’ve known him since before he had the first hairs on his twig and berries. I am sure he’d love to mount my head to his trophy wall, but again, kind of a waste of ammunition in my case, plus, I used to chase him away from one of my daughters, Caitlin, back in the day. You see that grumpy ugly dude over there?” Blaine pointed his thumb over his shoulder at the man he arrived with.

“I can hear you, you moron!” Caelan roared.

“Good, saves me from ruining my pretty singing voice by screaming so loud then to make sure you are picking up everything I am putting down for ya! Anyway, Jack, my friend, I got the patience and attention span of a common housefly, and that one there behind me got even less. So, I suggest you start being a little nicer to me.”

“I am being as nice as I am gonna get. You still haven’t told me what you want. All I see is two vampires trespassing and that rarely puts a smile on anybody’s face.” Jack countered bone-dry.

“Well, I was waiting for you to be a good host with the most and offer my handsome stunner of a brother-in-law and my awesome ass some coffee …”

“Knock off the bullshit and get to the point already Blaine!” Caelan barked.

“There is just no making you happy, is there!? I call you grumpy and ugly, you are mad. So I call you pretty boy, and you are mad. Do you even know what you want?”

“Yes, for you to get to the point so we can get out of here! Land the plane, Blaine!” Caelan hollered back.

“Don’t mind him, he’s man-struating. Kind of a permanent condition with him. I wanted to come alone, but my wifey said I had to take her brother. Happy wife, happy life. Especially when your life never ends. Anyway Jack, so Caelan and I were at a housewarming party, and our temper got a little hot when we heard some news there, so we decided to come pay you a visit so AG’s parents and brother don’t have to, cos they are slightly hostile at the moment.”

“News? Is Aria all right?”

“Okay, her name is Aria-Grace. Or if you cannot handle long names, AG works too. Trust me, if you fuck up her pretty name around her mom, you will regret all your life’s choices at once. My little Vivien, that’s AG’s mom, has the temper of a rabid moray eel.”

“Fish don’t get rabies, do they?” Jack wondered, confused by Blaine’s strange analogy.

“I am no underwater expert, but stick with me, bruh.”

“Look, Mr. Cameron …”

“Blaine works. Mr. Cameron makes me look for my dad and that is pretty freaky, considering he died over a decade ago.”

“Okay, Blaine then. I appreciate you coming out here, but I can’t help you. If AG needs anything, I am sure she has plenty of people locally. She and I aren’t exactly … well … what’s the word I am looking for?”

“Capable of sound choices?” Caelan offered from the background.

“What?” Jack asked irritated.

“Nothing, ignore him, he just called you a dumbass in Caelan-talk. Few people can make sense of what he mutters, to most it’s just grunts and nonsense. Word of wisdom, just make like Elsa let it go. I can poke that beast as much as I want, cos I am under super-special protection of my wife, who’s his big sister, and my oldest daughter, who is his only friend, so he can’t do shit about me except bitch. And boy has he got that down to an artform.”

Jack shook his head, turned and headed towards his cabin. Blaine gave Caelan a hand-signal when the vampire hunter’s patience seemed to have run out.

“Chill, Caelan the Creep, I said I got this, so I got this.” Blaine told his brother-in-law.

Instead, Blaine employed supernatural speed and appeared right before Jack, causing him to stop short.

“But wait, there’s more! Hang on, Jack, before you hit that road. You haven’t even heard the best part yet.”

“Look Blaine, I don’t know why you are here, and your pointless banter tells me it’s nothing urgent, so please leave me be. There is a reason a man chooses to live alone. I do not like people, prefer the company of horses.”

Jack passed Blaine again, almost reaching the door to his cabin, when Blaine landed the bomb.

“Well, as a father myself I felt leading up reeeeeeeally gently to you becoming a daddy was the right thing to do, but guess not, so well … congrats then. You got a winner among your little swimmers.”

Jack froze in mid-step, jerking around to stare at Blaine from big eyes.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought buddy. AG wanted to keep this a secret, until she figured out if she was gonna keep it or not. Yeah, that’s right, AG needs some convincing to wanna be a mommy again, which is why I thought I’d drop by and give you a chance to have some say before she makes a rough decision that would affect her life and yours forever. Don’t know if you got any kids already, no offense, but you are no Spring chicken anymore, so whatever you put inside of my granddaughter might well be your one claim to fame, unless AG decides otherwise. If that kid is yours, AG seems to think so, I am not a walking, talking DNA test, so, ya know. She is about to do something I don’t want her to do, but I am only the grandpa, I can bitch at her, but it ain’t my choice to make, nor is it her parents’ or brother’s or best friend’s. You on the other hand should have some input, considering you provided the necessary parts and services … so if you think it COULD be yours and you wanna see it born, I’d start heading towards Brindleton Bay like the Roadrunner… just sayin’.

Look Jack, nobody had the faintest clue AG was knocked up, and nobody in my family had ever even heard of you, except her best friend, lucky for you was she bred for looks and not brains, cos she accidentally let the cat out of the bag at said party. AG ran off, but you saw how far that goes with me, I got her calmed down a little, yet she still didn’t want to tell me details, but guess what, I am one convincing motherfucker, as you found out yourself. So, all that being said, I think my work here is done. Do with that information what you will, but you can’t say you didn’t know. Any questions, compliments, concerns? Hey, hello? Ah shit, Caelan, I think I broke him, lights still on, but nothing’s moving anymore. Not even sure he’s still breathing. I think he may have just died upright. What were the signs of a stroke or heart attack again?” Blaine started snapping his fingers in front of a stiff-for-shock Jack, to no avail.

“Mortals don’t die standing up, you idiot, if he were dead, you’d know it as he would drop like a sack of potatoes. He’s in shock, figures, I couldn’t have done any worse, but would have arrived on point much quicker. Leave him be and let’s go, we came here cos you wanted to tell him, now he knows, time for us to get out, you heard him, he doesn’t like company. Besides, Vivien is gonna kill him anyway if she ever gets her hands on him, so whatever.”