Chapter 503) The Bachelor Party

San Sequoia
Connor & Keira's home

The tall, blonde man with the athletic build entered the room, the delicate raven-haired beauty with the alabaster skin walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck for a deep kiss.

When it ended, his brilliant blue eyes looked deep into her dark as coal ones.

“Are those my boxers you are wearing?”

“Mayyyybeeeee …” she dragged out.

“Oh jeeze, Keira. Do we need to get laundry done for you?”

“They’re comfy. My midsection is still pretty sore from the C-section and the pregnancy. You used to like it when I wear your clothes. You used find that sexy.”

“Still do, but I meant shirts and hoodies, babe. Underpants just make me hope you got them out of the dresser and not the hamper.”

“Eew, now you’re being gross!” she pulled away from him.

“Well, anyway, I am gonna head out, unless you need anything else.”

“Do you reeeeeeally have to go to THAT place?”

He arched his eyebrows.

“I thought you were okay with me going.”

“I was. Am. I am. It’s just …. I don’t know.”

“Keke, you gotta tell me now. Am I calling Noah and Nolan to tell them I can’t make it?”

“No! I don’t want them to think I am THAT kinda wife. It’s just … I just had a baby and all that … and you’re going to a place with a ton of half-naked beautiful girls … it’s just … ya know.”

“Keke, you are killing me, girl. You KNOW I don’t play around. This is for my cousins’ bachelor party not because I felt like going to a place like that, I asked you and you told me you were cool with it. If you changed your mind, tell me. So, am I going or staying? I can tell them you needed me or Chris was too fussy so nobody doubts you as a wife. How’s that?”

“Great, then everyone would think I can’t handle being a mother.” Keira huffed.

“Only idiots would think that. Those who love us would think you need your husband after being freshly risen following an emergency C-section in a coffin. That was not how I thought we’d be welcoming our son into the world. For one, I thought his mother would be conscious and NOT in a transitional coma from mortal to vampire. But that’s just me and what do I know, right?”

“Con-Bear …. not again. I apologized a million times and I am sure I am gonna apologize a million times more … but seriously, not now.”

“I don’t want an apology, we hashed through the reasons you had a gazillion times, I get it, we’re good, I am just glad I have you and we have Chris and all are well, even if it has to be with fangs, but I swear I am traumatized from all that. You are sending me mixed signals here and I am not gonna run the risk of upsetting you over some new BS here.”

Connor pulled out his phone and started tapping.

“Who are you texting?”

“Noah and Nolan, telling them I am not coming.”

Keira snatched the phone from him, shaking her head, while backspacing his text.

“No. You need to go. You ARE going. I don’t mind you hanging with the boys, but does it really have to be a … ya know … one of those …. can’t you just get drunk at Noah’s place or whatever?”

“It’s a bachelor party, Keke, and not mine, so I had nothing to do with the planning, am just a guest, so if you want me to go, I need to leave now. If you want me to stay, gimme back my phone cos I don’t want to flake on them. I am good either way, just really need to know if I am coming or going here, girl.”

With a sigh she handed him back his phone, then snuggled up to him, he kissed the top of her head, making her bury her head deeper in his shoulder.

“I promise I’ll be a good boy, I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

“It’s not your hands I am worried about.”

“Oh babe, as if. Seriously now!”

“It’s those chicks’ hands and other body parts. You are so handsome, so charming, so cute and sweet and if any of them find out you are also a doctor, not to mention Chase Cameron’s son, they’d never let you leave again. Hell, you might realize you could do so much better than me, with some less complicated chick and all that.”

Connor chuckled.

“Your logic is flawed, Keke. You’re being complicated while telling me you are worried I’d find a less complicated woman at some strip club. I think you need a nappy and maybe a binkie. Now listen to your MASTER and lay back down until our little man demands your attention again.” Connor chuckled, while Keira tried not to smile as she slapped at his arm.

“Get out of here already! Master! I told you that last time you turned me, I am NEVER going to call you that!”

“And I told you last time you MADE me turn you, I don’t make the rules. It is called what it is called and I am it, your Master. Self-inflicted, too, you made me your Master and yeah babe, I am so riding that one to death. So be a good little vampiric offspring and rest up, cos your Master wills it so. Love ya babe. Maybe I’ll bring you home one of those strippers as a souvenir. Or maybe as a fallback for me, in case I decide I do want a less complicated woman after all.” Connor laughed; Keira giggled as she slapped his behind.

“Don’t you dare! And I love ya too, you Master you.”

San Sequoia
Entertainment District

The environment was loud, moody music blaring, the deeper bass notes so low that they vibrated the entire club and everyone and everything in it, the clinking of glass on glass, women’s and men’s occasional laughter along with the usual dull roar of any bar or club, had it not been for the strange smell in the air, an indefinable mixture of vanilla, fog machines, stale alcohol stench, bodily emissions all underlined by the predominant flashing red lights everywhere.

It was a men’s club.

Despite no shortage of available booze and barely clad female entertainment, the quartet of attractive young men at one of the tables looked less than enthused, looking around almost bored. The initial excitement of the quasi-forbidden fruit and all the pretty nearly naked women ripe for the picking turned to redundancy, each of them in loyal and faithful relationship, neither willing to even entertain the idea of getting up close and personal with a dancer, even though several times they had been offered private dances at varying levels of pushiness, each man had politely plucked women off themselves to decline all they had to offer. Three were nursing their fourth or fifth bottle of overpriced beer while one of them sucked down his sixth Coke Zero. Clearly a dry former alcoholic and also the only mortal in the group. Vampires generally had a much higher tolerance for substances of any kind.

Suddenly the mortal, and at 36 years also the oldest one of them, froze, then jumped up and ran through one of the doors. The others followed closely.

“What’s with you of a sudden, you ran off like a nun who saw her first D. You’re in a private room here, we’re not supposed to just go in one unless a dancer takes us here, remember?! They specifically told us that when we got here. Did it get so urgent that your pants were gonna bust?” Nolan teased, followed by laughter from everyone except Stryker.

“I don’t care what this is, just glad it was empty, especially considering my luck. That’s my ex out there. Right behind you guys!” Stryker freaked out.

“WHAT?! Where?” Noah asked, while all boys were turning at the same time.

“Really subtle you morons! A little more obvious, you idiots! The one on the left, the skinny platinum blond skank with the permanent resting bitch face who was just dry-humping the air like it owes her money! Holy crap! I think I just pooped my own wiener! Dafuq’s that bitch doing here now?!” Stryker ranted, clearly disturbed by his discovery.

“Which ex? Not the one with the lawsuit?” Connor wondered.

“Yes, exactly THAT one.” Stryker grumbled back.

“What lawsuit? Sounds juicy. I need to hear this!” Noah wondered.

“Gawd Noah, the one where Stryker’s ex roofied and raped him! We need to get you some Ginseng, that was all over the news for months only a year or so ago. Maybe two. Time flies.” Nolan nudged his twin brother.

“She didn’t rape me, you dumbass! She … well … she drugged me, coaxed me to her hotel room and then … well …” Stryker halted, realizing the truth.

“Roofied you, then had sex with you against your will, aka rape. Just like Nolan said. Nice to know someone like that gets hired on here. And we thought we were the weirdos here, guess not. Who found this place?” Connor frowned, receiving a grim glare from Stryker.

“I did. When Noah and Nolan started rolling this idea I remembered this place was here from my back in my wild days before I grew a brain and realized what’s what in life thanks to my Sophie. And I mean, Connor, what kinda girls did you think work at places like this? Anesthesiologists and bored independently wealthy heiresses? Not even here in San Sequoia, man. These chicks don’t wanna be here any more than we do, it’s just quick and fairly easy money.” he grumbled.

“We can leave man. I mean, I get if you don’t want to run into that chick. We can find a bar with some good live entertainment. Gotta be honest, I thought coming to a strip club would be cooler than this, since it’s like the number one thing dudes do for their bachelor parties. All I see is overpriced bottom shelf booze and unmotivated chicks with dollar signs in their eyes doused in red light and smelling like vanilla scented urinal cakes, all of it sprinkled with tons of glitter. This is NOT what I expected AT ALL.” Nolan said.

“Yeah, I used to frequent this type of establishment when I was still an addict and they are a lot more fun when you are drugged and boozed beyond recognition so you actually want a lap dance not knowing where that business has been that night. Soph and I actually broke up TWICE because of me and strip clubs, so I don’t got the fondest memories of these places. But I can handle it. Just torn between taking a pic of Alycia’s skinny skanky ass to send to Sophie for a good laugh cos my wifey downright HATES Uglycia’s guts down to the last inch. I am definitely gonna tell Soph about whom we ran into, cos last we heard Alycia had married another rich dude. Guess that didn’t work out as planned. Dawww. If I wasn’t so disgusted by her, I’d even slip her a pity dollar bill but that bitch’s got fangs on her vajajay so I’d probably lose a hand. No offense intended to the fanged community here present, but no matter how immortal you guys think you are, that skank would even suck you guys’ life right out of you.”

“Sophie knows you are here?!” Nolan’s eyes grew big.

“Of course she does! I tell Sophie everything these days. She knows I am staying at Blaine’s to finish the album, and I told her I ran into you two bozos there and you invited me, cos you don’t have any friends evidently. Soph and I don’t do secrets anymore. That just about killed us a couple times and we learned the hard way that truth is always best and trust is everything. I told her where we’re going and she was fine with it. She knows she can trust me now. Only took several years of therapy, my ass going to jail and into rehab, her and me breaking up more times than I care to remember and me breaking her heart dozens of times for me to change my dumbass ways so I can finally have something resembling a life.”

“I am with Stryker on that. Of course I told Keira who and where I was going and she was cool with it. Well, cool-ish. Kinda. In her own Keira-way.”

“Yeah, nah, Alessa is blissfully unaware on account of she would absolutely emasculate me if she had any idea we’re at a titty bar for my bachelor party. I’d probably be a bachelor again AFTER she first tore me a new one, castrated me and punched me into next week. It’s what I get for wanting to marry a chick from Tartosa, as much as I love her fiery temper most of the time, she gets jealous when I only smile at a female, no matter how old or what they look like. She thinks I am just staying with my brother for a week and we’re hanging at bars with Con-Bear here for the bachelor party. Especially since we don’t know anyone else here in San Sequoia. But Noah and I were totally not gonna do it back in Newcrest or Holly and Alessa would probably send their older brothers after us to spy on us.” Nolan shrugged.

“Unless you morph into Keira right here, right now, it’s Connor to you! I am confident you can handle those 6 letters without having to get cute on me.” Connor grumbled.

“I kinda didn’t even mention this place or our plans to Holly. I mean, there has to be some benefit to her living clear across the country from me, cos otherwise it sucks. I think if this ever comes up I’d rather ask for forgiveness than permission. I honestly have no clue how she would react. She is pretty laid back and cool, so she may not mind it. Or she may mind in a big way and just dump me, like Emilee did, with no warning. Emilee has two kids now and I am not even living with my fiancée, let alone married to her yet.” Noah rambled on.

“Chicks man. Can’t live with them, pass the beer nuts. Not even sure why we’re crazy enough to get married in the first place if we have to hide or ask for permission like a teen. We can’t wait to turn 18 so our mommies don’t tell us what to do anymore, only to turn around and marry another woman to tell us what to do again.” Nolan said.

“I don’t think it’s about telling us what to do, but think about it that way: how would you feel if your Alessa were to go to a male strip club to have some other dude who’s build like a marble statue launch his bare facts in her face? His facts are probably even bigger than yours, so there is that too.” Connor asked.

“My facts are sized just right, Alessa never complained and she’s not into that kinda crap. Unless it’s from me. She’d NEVER go to a strip club, male or female!” Nolan retorted.

“Then you better not ask what most women do for their bachelorette parties. Trust me, the chicks can be worse than us guys sometimes. I have seen plenty of bachelorette parties and those ladies knew how to send off their single lives in style, your ears and eyes would be burning if I told you details. Almost made me blush, some of the shit they did. And no, not my Sophie, but she is one of a kind anyway we all know that. For her bachelor party she met up with her sisters, friends and our mothers at the Lake House and had a 1950s movie night in. No joke. The only bananas and wieners that were at that party were baked into the pastries.” Stryker told the others.

“Spa day. Shopping. Mani-pedis. That kinda girly shit is what Alessa and Holly will be doing.” Nolan said, when Connor pat his cheek until Nolan slapped his hand away.

“Aww, isn’t our Nolan adorably innocent? Okay guys, all that beer I drank just dropped, gotta hit the head. Why don’t you guys head out to the car, I’ll take a leak, then pay and then I’ll join ya. Get on your phones and see what’s around here, I am sure we can find something better to do than bide our time here when clearly none of us are enjoying it one bit. I’d rather go to some lame ass karaoke night or catch some foreign movie or something. Be right back. Looks like they got shared cans here so if I am not back within 30 minutes, please send help and Lysol, I was probably attacked by Stryker’s ex’s fanged nether region he told us about.” Connor laughed, then hurried away from Stryker cursing at him.

Right as Connor reached the first bathroom door it was opened. She saw him at the same time he saw her, her eyes grew wide, she looked around panicked.

“What the hell, Chelsea?!” Connor exclaimed shocked to find one of his wife’s and his first local friends after they moved to San Sequoia and also former bridesmaid from their wedding here, dressed like the other dancers.

“SHHHHHHHH! Keep your voice down, nobody knows my real name around here. I am Candy for all they know. Don’t tell, please Connor!” Chelsea pleaded.

“Tell whom? What? Your name? Chels, seriously what is this? What are you doing here? Does your boyfriend know about this? And where is your little girl?” Connor was still trying to get his bearings about himself, he had known Chelsea to be an Office Manager and single mom, always dressed fashionable and modest. She never even showed this much skin at pool parties.

“OMG, just don’t tell ANYONE. ANYTHING. PLEASE. Neighborhood Association would run me out of town with pitchforks and I’d lose what few friends I have left. My life is a mess, he dumped me, Connor. Devin just dropped me like a hot potato and vanished. I thought he was the one, and I had on my rose-colored glasses something bad, I missed all the many red flags, it’s bad Connor. I am destitute and dead-broke. And pregnant. I seriously can’t afford a baby, nor an abortion, Connor, I need money, quick, or I can’t pay my mortgage. I can barely make ends meet with the toddler I already have with her daddy MIA, now I am pregnant with another which I can’t afford, and his or her daddy is gone now. I found out Devin didn’t make the car payments while he was living with me, my car was repo’ed. I need my car to get to my real job at the office.” Chelsea told Connor.

“Chelsea! We live literally less than 3 minutes away from you if you have a limp and in icy conditions! You can actually see our house from your window and you couldn’t come to us or Janelle and Laurent for help? You have our phone numbers! Girl what the hell?!”

“Everyone has new babies, I remember how rough being a first time parent was, so all of you had so much drama going on already and none of this is your fault. I am to blame, only and solely me and that is the roughest part, all the what-ifs. Now you catch me working here – and I am knocked up AGAIN by yet another loser. It’s not your fault that I keep falling for the wrong men. I am so dumb and so humiliated!” Chelsea sniffled, wrapping her arms around herself, clearly ashamed Connor saw her like this.

Connor realized that, took off his jacket and wrapped it around her.

“Okay, I am taking you home, right now. Screw your shift, if the club manager doesn’t like it, he or she can strip down and swing their ass on stage. We’ll figure the rest out. Where’s your little Penelope?” Connor decided.

“Babysitter. Whom I still have to pay, and I am so broke right now, I have to work my shift or I can’t pay her.” Chelsea told him.

“Okay, look Chels, I don’t know how we’ll fix any of this, but what I do know is you won’t be working here, tonight or ever. I still need to take a leak or I’ll explode, you go get dressed in your street clothes and meet me out front. I am here with my two cousins and a family friend, we’ll just tell them whatever, I don’t know. We’ll figure all that out, they may not even want to talk too much, two have a guilty conscience for coming here without their fiancées knowing, the other one saw his crazy ex working here and I am more than over this place. Oh, and just so you know, you have just become a running joke between Keke and me, she specifically told me not to bring home any strippers, yet here you are, a stripper and I am so taking you to our home. This is Keke and Con-Bear gold right here.” Connor chuckled.

“Aim to please, glad I could at least contribute to your future amusement. Thanks Connor. I’ll see you in a minute then, outside.” Chelsea even smiled a little now.

“Yeah, the parking spot way left, you know my car, the three bozos sitting in it are pretty cool guys, I vouch of them. The two that look the same are identical twins and my cousins, the other one might even look slightly familiar to you if you like music. You’ll know what I mean when you see him, and if not, read his shirt, cos that dumbass complains when people recognize him on the streets, then turns around and wears his own fan merch.”