Chapter 512) Brindleton Bay Boys

“Hold your child close and breathe them in. Tomorrows become yesterdays at an alarming rate.”

~Unknown~

Brindleton Bay
The Elysium

Blowing his long, shaggy hair off his face, Chase walked up to Hailey in their kitchen, gave her a juicy peck on the cheek while grabbing some soda.

“Man Patches, I think Cole and I are done for the day. I swear if I hear another music note today, I will lose my mind. What’s left of it anyway. I wish dad would quit breathing down our necks about that new album. He of all people should know you can’t be creative under pressure. I am seriously on the verge of needing a strait jacket. I should say, more than usual.” Chase chuckled.

“I believe it, you and Colton have been in that studio almost all day. I may have to have a word with your dad, if he is working you that hard. I’ll remind him that we roll by the creed ‘family first’. Swear I haven’t seen you all day. I was just about to bust in and pull you out for a talk about a recent development you may not really like too much …” Hailey grinned at him.

“Development? What happened? Do I even want to know? Who did what and much would it cost to fix it? Oh my God, it is not Hadley again, is it? That bestie of yours, seriously!” Chase grimaced; Hailey laughed.

“No, not Hads, she’s still cruising on even keel, and yes, I am as shocked as you are. You want the version where I slowly build up to the news or the quick stab into the gut? I think both are gonna have you go off like a bottle rocket, knowing you.” Hailey giggled.

“Just say it, Patches. Rip off that Band-Aid already. Stab away.” Chase frowned.

“Okay. Your daughter has a boyfriend.” Hailey delivered the news.

Chase sprayed his last sip of soda all over the kitchen floor, coughing, as he stared at his giggling wife.

“Lucky for you, we have a maid to deal with your and Colton’s messes … Consuela will be so thrilled to do the kitchen floor AGAIN since she just finished it 15 minutes ago. That’ll be another some bucks extra for her today.” she told him, but Chase was not amused.

“WHAT!? NO! No way! She’s 16!” he argued, completely ignoring Hailey’s attempt to make light of the news.

“Yeah, so were we when we dated. You didn’t even ask which one. We have two of those pesky daughter-things, remember?”

“Doesn’t matter. They are both 16, since they are twins, and they are both too young and not allowed to date. Not until they are at least 40.” Chase said.

“Oh, Gump, come on. Don’t be THAT dad, so lame. Connor and Keira were dating at 15.”

“Yeah, and we both have known Keira since before birth and we helped raise her. That’s different. Who is dating whom then? Do we know the kid?”

“Bri is dating Brad. Or Bradford, actually.”

“Bradford!? Not the Cunningham boy? Ugh, I should have known when he asked her to prom by proposing to her. I should have flagged that then! So why him? What does he have that other boys don’t?”

“Horses, for one. And he’s cute. Wait, what? He proposed?! Excuuuuuse me!? If that is true, I am going to strangle that boy! I mean, he’s cute, but not THAT cute! I can handle dating, but if they level that up in ANY way, they’ll get to see another side of me.” Hailey grimaced.

“Nah, as tempted as I am, I can’t have you go to jail now, I need you here to help me deal with teen daughters, and he didn’t propose for real, I walked in on him ‘promposing’ to her on one knee, I don’t know which teen boy would think that level of BS up, well, our Bradford evidently would, but it was harmless, admit it still gave me the flutters. Ah shit! Isn’t he the one whose house she has been going over to so much after school? I think we need to watch that a little now. Isn’t he also Jasper’s best friend? YIKES! Can we veto this? Our daughters are both on reliable birth control, right?” Chase ranted.

“Yes, of course they are, and no, we can’t, shouldn’t and won’t rear-end whatever that is between them. They haven’t done anything wrong, so Chase, listen. I need you to get it all out of your system now, cos I am literally waiting for Sophie to get here to make us one of her delightful three-course-dinners, as Bradford is coming over for dinner with the entire family tonight.”

“My ENTIRE family!?” Chase looked shocked.

“Argh, of course not! Just ours and Colton’s. You, me, Bri and Iris, Colton, Maddie and Jasper. And obviously Bradford. I really wanted Connor, Keira and Chris here, but thought until we know that Brad a little better, we’ll just do those of us who currently live here at this address. Especially since teens sometimes go through relationships faster than underwear. Oh, speaking of teens, Bri asked to wear makeup for the dinner and I allowed it, so nothing out of you about it.”

“Good grief, war paint now too! You know, some teens don’t date at all, why can’t we have those kinds of kids? And …. Bradford?! So THAT is gonna be my daughter’s first boyfriend’s name. Eeesh. Don’t they say you always remember your first? So, in 50 years from now we all will sit around a fire and still always remember Bradford, even if my secret prayer comes true and Bri realized he’s just not it and send him the way of the Dodo. Wait till my dad hears about that. I bet you 50 bucks he’ll call the kid ‘Brat-fart’. Cos that’s I am calling him in my head right now.” Chase pulled a face.

“Chaseyyyyy. Don’t be an ass, nobody names themselves, and for as far back as his family tree goes back in history, I am sure the boy is named after some ancestor. So, behave, okay? Unless you want me to make fun of the fact that you are a vampire named Chase. I mean, if THAT is not sheer irony, then I don’t know what would be.” grinned Hailey.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay, fine, whatever, I’ll be good. I will be the happiest, friendliest motherfucker this town has ever experienced. I’ll smooch the color of that boy if you want me to, Patches. Better?” Chase smirked back.

“Kinda. Let’s just skip the unnecessary PDA, okay? Oh, and Chasey … wear something nice tonight. Not your usual teen boy giddyup, try to look like an adult. At the very least slacks and a dress shirt. And definitely a shower, and maybe some of that fragrance I got you for Christmas that makes you totally irresistible. And maybe a little product in your hair, so you look more Brindleton Bay-eque and less as if I found some feral teen boy in the woods and adopted you this afternoon. Try to look a little more believable as a father of teen daughters. You KNOW we’re not flying that immortal flag high here in the Bay, they are just too conservative, and while they may know or at least suspect we are not regular mortals, they don’t like being reminded that the fanged riffraff lives among their prestigious selves.”

“Wow. Why do I have to dress my fanged riffraff ass in penguin wear and smell like a rose in April to impress some kid now? He’s not dating ME. I don’t even want him around. HE should be pissing his pants about how to impress US!”

“Chase, he’s a teen boy, I am sure he is nervous. Just wear something nice – do it for ME. Okay? Maddie, the kids and I are trying hard to blend in, to make up for you and Colton always looking like drifters. Oh, there’s Sophie now. She’s such a lifesaver! Let me buzz her in the gate, so I can do my upper class Brindleton Bay society wifely and/or motherly duties hosting the only son of one of Brindleton Bay’s finest and oldest families without having to cook myself, cos I hated cooking with a burning passion when I was mortal, no way I am gonna produce anything resembling what a Bradford Cunningham is used to now as fanged riffraff. While the cure allows us to eat, I don’t trust that our tastebuds are 100% reliable. I also texted Maddie some instructions, she’s on her way home from a meeting now. Oh, do me a favor, find Colton and prepare him please. No embarrassing stuff, no crude jokes, tell him to shower and dress decent, make sure he gets it, or he will get it from me afterwards! Won’t be pretty! Muzzle his dumb jokes, none of that tonight. Copy?”

Hailey shook her index finger at Chase, who took it and kissed it, winking at her.

“Yes Ma’am! Since my best friend’s behavior is evidently my responsibility now, I will have a sock in my pocket to stuff in his face just in case Colton starts acting too Colton-y.” he said, as he playfully saluted her.

Later that same day ...

With bright pink cheeks and a goofy smile Briar Rose walked up to Chase, looking like a slightly shorter version of her mother but with his eyes, and Bradford in tow. Forcing a polite smile, while trying to ignore the boy’s arm around his daughter in a manner that didn’t leave any question on where his hand had to be resting, Chase fought the sudden onset wish to dry-heave while trying his best to seem welcoming.

“Daddy, you know Bradford Cunningham. Brad, my daddy, Chase. Mom already said hi to him, dad, as did the others.” Bri said in a slightly accusatory tone, looking at Chase as if she knew he had purposely been avoiding this moment.

The teen held out his hand for Chase to shake, unfortunately leaving the other hand firmly planted on his daughter’s ass, which naturally rubbed Chase all wrong even though he managed to politely take Bradford’s hand and shake it without ripping the teen’s arm out of its socket. While the young couple were talking to him, Chase just nodded here and there, cringing on the inside, realizing this may be the boy who may get to know his little girl way too intimately one day, if he hadn’t already. URGH!

“Sir, such a pleasure to officially meet you, I know you have seen me around and we’ve spoken, but that was as Jasper’s bro. This is different. Oh, I also like your music … and your daughter isn’t bad either.” Bradford now flashed a smile at Bri, who giggled.

“Yah, right. Samsies.” Chase said, not at all amused by the boy’s attempt to break the ice with a joke, but feeling oddly at a loss for words, other than accusations, warnings and inappropriate nicknames for Bradford. He fought the instinct to rustle through his usually shaggy hair as he normally would when at a loss for words since Hailey had styled him today and he didn’t want to mess it up.

The dinner was pleasant, the food Sophie had prepared for them was amazing, as always, even though Hailey dominated most of the conversation, probably to make sure her husband and Colton were kept in line.

Later, when the four teens went off on their own, talking among themselves by the TV, the adults stood together in the kitchen.

“So, what do we all think? I always liked him, Jasper and he have been friends since Sophomore year, I can confidently say Bradford is a real decent kid, he and Bri fit well together, similar interests and aspirations, so I ship them. Seal of approval from me.” Colton shrugged. While he wasn’t her dad, he had helped raise her and her sister since birth, just like Chase and Hailey did with Colton and Maddie’s teen son Jasper and as the quartet had done with Connor and Keira.

“Yeah, he’s dreamy. Nice and slimey, a stuck up rich kid from old money. Hmm hmm hmm. Just how we like them. NOT! I swear, the very moment my dad gets wind of this, we will never hear the end of him poking fun at us about it.” Chase said, when Hailey nudged him.

“Gump, hate to break it to you, but your dad was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, as were you. Remember? And that goes back many generations now, so … hypocritical much?” Hailey told him, then kissed his cheek.

“But we are not stuck up, Patches. We’re down-to–earth low-key wealthy motherfuckers and we don’t pretend to be something we are not. We don’t keep gigantic horses in the backyard just to ride them along the beautiful beaches and have them shit all over those, only to be part of the Brindleton Bay elite with their thoroughbred horses and old estates and old roots in the bay and all that historical nonsense nobody cares about. We have lived here for a long time now, yet still get treated like we just moved here. We may be wealthy just like them all, maybe even richer yet, but we are casual and down to earth. Just regular people. Chill and cool. Unlike our daughter, who nearly tore me a new outlet when I accidentally called him Bradley instead of Bradford. Honest mistake! And what kinda name is Bradford?!” Chase ranted.

Maddie responded.

“Well, just like Hailey I wasn’t born into high society, just the simple girl from the ‘burbs from a middle-class family until I met some hot aspiring musician named Colton and married up. Whether we like Sterling Cunningham’s name or not, who cares? Personally, I am with my husband, I ship the heck out of them, and I think that boy is SOOO CUTE! OMG! Those curls, those big blue eyes … I mean YASSSS please! Am I the only one fangirling here thinking Brad gives serious vibes like Justin Timberlake before his awful dried-Ramen-noodle-hair phase? Heck, I’d have dated him if his name were Poopy McCrappenstein at her age! Ha, I’d date him now!” she enthused, when receiving a punch in her arm from her husband.

“HEY – WOMAN! Quit cougaring that kid, will ya!? You LITERALLY could be his mom, I know that cos that kid is our son’s best friend! You need to quit dry humping every barely passable man you see. First Chase’s dad, even though Blaine is probably like a 100 mortal years old by now, then she can’t keep her panties on about AG’s husband, A KING, no less!, who is at least somewhat age appropriate but without wanting to sound like the jealous husband, way out of your league, Maddie. And now my lovely wife is drooling pools about this child! Unreal!” Colton protested.

“So? Yeah, I like window shopping, Colton, for purses, clothes, cosmetics, decor – and hot men – of ANY age! So what? You boys are constantly scanning every cubic square inch for tits and ass to drool over, why can’t we girls? As long as I only get my appetite outside but eat at home what does it hurt? You need to work on your self-confidence, cos I didn’t do anything but have an opinion, Colton, is that allowed?” Maddie challenged her husband, then turned and walked off.

“Barely! Just remember being all that hot and bothered for later, when we’re alone in our bedroom! I’ll make you forget that there ARE any other men on this earth, woman!” Colton called after her, receiving the one finger salute as reply.

“No offense, Colton, I’d prefer if if Maddie were dating him over my own daughter. If you want some side-dick, Mads, by all means, take that Bradford, so he’ll leave my little girl alone.” Chase sighed dramatically, while Colton shot him a F. U. look.

“Yeah, how about you stick out your thumb and sit on it, Cameron! I need another drink!” Colton walked off as well.

“Patches, you cannot be okay with that. She’s too young, right? And that kid isn’t Cameron family material, right? You see it too, right?” Chase pressed.

“No Gump, I do not. I like him, and I like him for her. Still better than her crushing on Connor’s buddy Jack’s son. Now THAT was giving me sleepless nights, then again, I am a vampire and we don’t need sleep. But joking aside, relax Chase. Brad is a sweet kid and he wants to be a doctor, like our Connor. I mean, AWWWW! Maybe she’ll study medicine too and we’ll have two kids who are doctors. Or she’ll marry Brad and become a Mrs. Dr. Cunningham. Has a ring to it.” Hailey swooned.

“PATCHES! Stop the torture, please! I need a drink now too!” Chase rushed off, leaving behind a giggling Hailey, when Sophie joined her.

“Oh yikes! I can’t wait till mine are old enough for this mess. And in case it’s not clear, that was meant in a sarcastic way. Stryker is going to blow a gasket … and that five times! Oh boy, oh boy. Well, been a few years without our marriage on some sort of rocks, guess we’re overdue for stormy seas.”

“Don’t worry, Soph. The dads all freak out about the first date, the first prom and the first boyfriend, but only for the girls. Chase NEVER did that when Connor was dating anyone. Most of the time it was Keira anyway, but there were other girls for a little bit. No meep. I betcha if one of our girls were to date another girl, he’d be cool as a cucumber too, for reasons I probably don’t have to get too graphic on.”

“Oh great, and we have only 2 boys – and 3 girls. Unless all 3 turn out to be gay, heaven have mercy on me. Spencer is 12, going to be 13 soon. I am not ready for any of that. Yikes.”

“Ah, at 13 they still think the other gender is yucky. At 14 boys start changing their minds. You don’t have to start worrying about them acting on it until they are about 15 or 16.” Hailey told Sophie smiling, winking at her.

And then, barely a week later, yet another family dinner just like the last, but this time for the brandnew boyfriend and upcoming prom date for Iris Marie, Chase and Hailey’s other twin daughter. His name was Sterling Covington.

Once more, Chase and Hailey conferred off to the side in the kitchen after the meal while Colton, Maddie and the teens went down to the beach together.

“I am glad we only have two daughters. First a Bradford, now a Sterling. Does nobody have normal names anymore?! I have NO IDEA how my father did this 4 times with 4 daughters. 5, counting Celeste! Or YOUR father! 2 daughters. Man, if he were still alive, I would go over there RIGHT NOW and apologize. That poor man. And he was such a nice and chill guy. And I remember what I was thinking about the entire time at the dinner table with your parents, and it wasn’t about your mom’s cooking or your dad’s cool new tools he kept showing me as if it wasn’t obvious that I have two left hands.”

Hailey laughed.

“Then I probably shouldn’t remind you of that time when we about Iris and Bri’s age and I snuck you into my room late one night through the window, where you told me that you were a vampire and once I got over the worst shock we ended up being silly, and you FINALLY kissed me, we stumbled and landed on my bed, you on top of me, RIGHT when my dad came in my room?!”

“Oh GAWD! Do NOT remind me! I swore I was gonna go down in history as the first vampire who ever died of a heart attack!” Chase said, making Hailey laugh.

“Tell me about it! I was SO embarrassed! It was absolutely harmless, we both know it was, no matter how it may have looked to the parents. OMG, and my dad made your dad come pick you up from our living room, and you couldn’t do anything about it, cos you hadn’t mastered porting yet. And all that about nothing, the only thing that happened was that I kissed my first vampire.” Hailey laughed.

“You mean, boy. I am a man first, vampire second.”

“No, I mean vampire.”

“You hussy! How many were there before me?! Cos you were my first kiss – ever – that wasn’t family and I thought same goes for you! Not to mention other firsts.”

“If you haven’t bothered to ask until now, you will NEVER know! And just for the record, that other first, the big one, was you. Feel better?” Hailey winked.

“Patches, seriously, what about that kid Iris dragged into our house and lives now as her first boyfriend? I thought Bri’s choice was terrible, typical rich boy, but nooooo – typical twins, Iris has to outdo her sister and schlepps in THAT kid?! He’s bad news. Rich and a rebel? Hell no! Do you not remember how prom usually goes? And our daughter with THAT kid? I am NOT ready to be a grandpa already again, and most definitely not by my teen daughter! Still in shock our little Connor has a baby, until I remember he’s a grown man!”

“Chase, we all – including Connor – have had pretty descript birds and bees talks with all three teens in this house, together and individual. Our girls and Colton and Maddie’s boy are not dumb enough to risk unprotected sex. And I like Sterling. Reminds me of you. A LOT actually.”

“ME!? I was a nerd. Absolutely harmless! NOTHING like THAT kid who probably is feeling up Iris as we speak! URGH! Now I got the visual too!”

“Oh yeah, harmless, right. That’s why that one time your dad built us a lovely condom pyramid in your bathroom? Because you were harmless and nerdy. Riiiiight.”

“That was my dad being … Blaine. You know he has a whacky sense of humor! I didn’t need those, and definitely not so many! I mean … well, we did end up using them. Just not for what they were intended for. We used them all to prank my dad back – and that was even your idea! But that Sterling-bruh? Patches, I just don’t know …”

“Gives a little bit of bad boy vibes, I agree with you there, so no wonder Iris Marie likes him. I can see why. I mean, which girl her age isn’t attracted to the tall, dark, handsome, mysterious guy? I know I was head over heels for one. Still am.”

“Do I want to know about that?” Chase grimaced.

“It’s YOU, Gump! Duh! Seriously! Does it get any darker and more mysterious than a teen girl dating a vampire, who just happens to be the son of the most famous Del Sol Valley-‘royalty‘? Talk about the ultimate bad boy. Duh! Duh! Oh, and DUH!”

“I was never a bad boy. I was a nerd, who liked grunge music. And video games. Sure, I was born a vampire, but that doesn’t come with built in uber-cool charisma! That guy Iris dragged to dinner is bad by choice! Teenage boys only have room for a few things in their brains, none of which make me comfortable as the father of a teen girl!”

“How do you even deduce he is bad; he was nothing but polite the entire time! Just because he doesn’t wear the standard issued light-colored sporting clothing, usually by Ralph Lauren, like 90% of the Brindleton Bay population of any age? So, maybe Sterling likes grunge music too or rock or whatever. He’s still from a good family, Maddie and I know the mom, Linda, from the Yacht Club. She has a little girl too. Very sweet, I mean, the typical Bay crowd, but very polite and pleasant. Sterling is probably just in some rebellious teen phase. Or he’s trying to emulate Colton and you. He mentioned to me that he likes your music and that 2Dark 2C ‘totally ate and left no crumbs’ when performing. Whatever that means. May have Iris translate that, but I am pretty sure it’s something good.” Hailey said.

“Good for him, I don’t mind him fangirling 2Dark 2C, or Colton or me, cos I know we don’t put out, and his oh-so smooth baby-ass moves just look laughable to me, but our daughter seems to feel otherwise! Have you seen the way she looks at him? As if he were the kingdom come on two legs! For weeks she’s been torturing all the residents in this household with some weird distant phase, wants to be alone all the time and makes Wednesday Addams look like a bubbly Valley-girl with her moods, but enter Sterling and tadaaa: a brandnew Iris. I can guess what his rebel phase all entails. Plus, he’s older than Iris. 17 already. 1 year is a LOT at their age! I can look at that Sterling and just know what’s up! Spoiler alert: it’s not brownie points in my book. He’s every teen girl’s father’s worst nightmare.”

“Yeah, like looking into a mirror, huh?” Hailey crossed her arms.

“Patches … you cannot be all right with this!”

“Of course I am not! I want my girls and even Connor to be tiny little toddlers again. No, wait, make that kids, less needy. But this is what happens when you have kids. They just won’t stay cute babies forever. They grow up and start living their own lives, as teens they are mini-adults and start testing the boundaries and learn about relationships. Forbidding anything now is counterproductive, they learn nothing that way and definitely will screw up when it counts, best to let them sniff out the boundaries, we need to let them make their experiences and gently guide them and steer them in the right direction. We did this with Connor, now we’re doing it with two girls. We will get through this.”

“Patches, I say this with the utmost respect and sincerity, but since we both are vampires and nowhere near that age where things start drying up for good I feel like I have to say it: NO. MORE. KIDS. Not ever!”

“Don’t have to tell me twice. When we conceived the twins, I wanted ONE more, not TWO, but you overachiever doubled up the order. Now we get all that teen torture times two. Don’t you blame ME for that, still takes both of us to have gotten into this mess!”