Chapter 530) Reality

“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken.
Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it.
Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path.
Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look.
Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching.
March to the beat of your own drummer.
And stubbornly refuse to fit in.”

~M. Hale

Chestnut Ridge
Kershaw Ranch

Jackson stepped outside with his coffee when he noticed Connor had arrived and was talking to Stryker outside. Most of the time he came by car, but sometimes, when he didn’t have a lot of time or just didn’t feel like dealing with traffic, he just ported. Like today, as there was no car anywhere. Just Connor. Normally he always came to the door, but since Stryker had been sitting outside enjoying the soft Autumn sun, he stopped by him first.

Jackson took his time to join them, slowly stepping off his front porch, sipping his coffee, assuming Connor was talking to Stryker about medical things that were none of his business, when Connor and Stryker both looked up, smirking at the young man, who suddenly felt hands over his eyes, it startled him, and he dropped his mug jumping aside.

Staring from widened eyes at a laughing Briar Rose, hearing the two men chuckling a small distance away, Jackson calmed and smiled too.

“Sorry kid, but she begged me to drop her off behind the house so she could do this.” Connor called over to him.

“Yeah, figured as much. Well, happy to amuse then, Miss Cameron.” Jackson said, smiling and grimacing at Briar Rose.

“Aww, poor Jackson. If you wanna go inside to change underwear, I won’t judge, cos I got you good. It does smell like raw sewage all of a sudden …” she giggled.

“Yeah, you got me and no, I don’t scare THAT easily. My underwear is pristine, whatcha smellin’ is yourself, shithayed.” he nudged her, grinning.

“I am sorry, what? I couldn’t hear you over all that SORE LOSER …” she giggled nudging him back, winking at him as she walked past him, then sat down next to Stryker.

“Hey Stryker. How are you doing?”

Jackson couldn’t hear Stryker’s answer, as Connor had joined him, putting his arm around the young man’s shoulder turning him around towards the house, so Jackson picked up his mug, slapping it against his thigh a few times to remove the dirt, with one last look back at Bri, whom he heard addressing Stryker, while he started walking back to his cabin with Connor, assuming he wanted his usual cup of coffee.

“So, what’s going on with that voice of yours? Can you take a real deep breath for me and then do what I do?” he heard Bri say to Stryker, as Connor pat him on the shoulder.

“And THAT’S why she is here.” he stated.

“To teach him how to breathe? Pretty sure he’s got that down just fine.” Jackson told him.

“No, smartass, to help him talk better. I saw her do this with a stroke patient when she was waiting for me to get off work recently and she did a really good job, so I thought, this couldn’t hurt. Let’s talk. Inside. Go, go!”

Standing in Jackson’s kitchen, Connor declined his usual coffee and sighed.

“First of, I like Stryker’s new look. Got yourself a dress up doll now for those boring prairie evenings in, huh?”

“Well, that buzz cut and the same old worn out stained tweaker clothes he came here with weren’t doing him any favors, he started growing out his hair, got him looking like roadkill, so I gave him a more decent haircut and some of my clothes. We’ll get him something better whenever we get out to a big city next.”

“Yeah, I’ll see if I can work you two in for a little roadtrip soon, thinking you both could use some change of scenery about now and we can find some stores for a wardrobe update for him and you too if you want it, that’s the least I could do considering how much you helped me out. But what I wanted to talk to you about is that there has been drama again, since the last time we spoke. With Bri. And no, not about your little afternoon delight moment. Something new, cos I guess we didn’t have enough drama on our plates yet.” he told the younger man.

“Am I supposed to look shocked now? I am not the sharpest tool in the shed, but even I realized Bri attracts drama like manure attracts flies, you may not like it, but it’s inevitable. What did she do this time?” Jackson sighed.

“Good point, but this time it really wasn’t her fault. I’ll let her fill you in on the details, not up to me to say, but tread lightly around her. She’s pretty delicate at the moment, physically and mentally.”

“Did she have an accident? She’s not sick, is she?! She looks all right …” Jackson looked more than concerned, trying to peek out the window behind Connor at Bri, which Connor stopped by flicking his fingers to get Jackson’s attention back to him.

“Relax, she’ll have to decide if and how much she wants to tell you, just be gentle with her. The reason I brought her other than seeing if she can help Stryker was because I knew it would lift her spirits seeing you, and Lord knows she needs that right now. Just whatever you do, do not get carried away. Her scars are still healing and she has to be VERY careful, not to mention the entire area is very tender. No rough hugging or such antics. Understood?” Connor pressed.

“Connor ya got me worried! How bad is it? She gonna be all right?”

“Don’t worry. Just some lifestyle changes maybe and different plans for the future. She’ll be fine, eventually. Just wanted to make sure you know sneaking off for certain activities has to be off the table, no matter how much you two seem to enjoy the thrill. This is not me talking as her big brother, but as a physician. She just can’t do it right now, or it could end badly.”

“Connor, I got it, not some randy idiot, but I gotta know …”

Jackson wanted to say more, when the door opened and Taylor appeared.

“Oh, so it’s a party. Hi Connor, I am genuinely glad to see you are here too.” Taylor greeted him with a side-glance at Jackson.

“Yup, I am here to check on the patient, and no worries, I am taking the sister home with me. She’s just helping me today.” Connor retorted, put off by Taylor’s snippy tone.

“Oh, isn’t that just sweet as pie? Bless her heart.” Taylor’s tone was a tad too sharp to sound authentic, so Connor left the cabin, shaking his head. The moment the door shut behind him, Taylor laid into Jackson.

“I am very patient person, but seriously? Why do I keep finding her roosting here, again and again? Not enough you took that addict in, for reasons unbeknown, as I never known anyone in our town to complain of boredom on their ranches, not to mention news to me you got your nursing degree for some side hustle. Also ignoring the fact that you seem to rather move a complete stranger in with you, yet it never seemed to have crossed yer mind to even ask me to move in with you! But do you REALLY have to have HER here nearly every time I turn around? Are you trying to taunt me and discredit what we have? That is incredibly disrespectful to me!” her voice turned shrill.

Jackson bit off some dry bread he had grabbed off the table, staring at her, chewing, but not saying a word. When he wanted to take another bite, Taylor ripped the bread from his hand and flung it across the room.

“An answer, Jackson!” she demanded, almost shooting sparks from her eyes at him.

“An answer to what? This supposed to be an ultimatum? Cos if it is, you won’t like my answer. Same as I said before. We had talks about all this. You and I should go separate ways. There, I said it again. We don’t belong, Taylor. I thought we did, but I realized we do not.” Jackson told her calmly, but his voice had turned a different type of deep.

“No, it is not an ultimatum, but an appeal to your mind and heart. You are talking nonsense again. Of course we belong, we always have and always will. I can see what you keep thinking, hoping for, but remember your roots, Jackson. THAT, what you are dreaming of, will never work. Never! I am your best bet, the best you’re EVER gonna get, and you know it. If it’s a rich daddy you want so badly, I got one too, maybe not as rich as hers, but rich enough to afford us anything we could ever want, right here. If I were to marry you, you KNOW he will buy us a house and land, and even a few good horses, trucks, get us started on anything we want to do to make a living, TOGETHER. All ya need to do is go to him and ask THE question, and then ask me. You know I wouldn’t let you down, I love you, Jackson, still, despite of all, about time you realize how invaluable that is and start appreciatin’. Ya know my daddy always says, that good women are like good wine, if ya didn’t take the time to appreciate it right while ya could, all you’ll be left with is a memory and regret you didn’t cherish it while ya could, and if left for too long, they become bitter like vinegar. I’ll be back with some more stew and broth for Stryker later, hopefully by that time your visitors are gone again, and it will be possible to speak normal to you again. Right now, your head’s in the clouds again, I can see that.” she said and just left him standing there, slamming the door on her way out.

As Jackson stepped outside a few moments later, exhaling deeply, he saw Bri still gesture at Stryker, who seemed to be trying his best, often interrupted by laughter, making Jackson smile, when Connor’s voice startled him. He hadn’t even noticed him until then.

“Not healthy, you know that.” Connor said, getting up from the rocking chair he’d been sitting in.

“Stryker or Bri?” Jackson asked.

“You and Taylor.”

Jackson nodded.

“Yeah, something went sour somewhere sometime, I tried to break up with her, numerous times now, she won’t hear it. Just gets angry, hollers at me, blows my reasoning off and leaves. Next time I see her, everything’s back the way it was, I am not getting through to her AT ALL, no matter how I try. Been nice, been gentle, been downright mean, spoke softly, didn’t speak, even yelled at her, same result each time, namely none. Was about to try again, but with you and Bri here figured that might be the one that’ll set her off in the worst way and I didn’t want all ya’ll to see that. She said she’ll be back later; I’ll try talkin’ to her again when you guys are gone and Stryker’s sleepin’. No reason to get him all roweled up.”

Connor laughed, patting the young man on his shoulder.

“Goodness kid, you must have something really special about you that turns off all sense of rhyme or reason in females. Is your little friend made of gold or something?” Connor couldn’t help but be amused.

“If it were, I’d’ve sold it already and not have so many worries because of it.” Jackson told him bone-dry.

“If I believe nothing in life, THAT I do believe. While on topic, I know I am not your dad, and you are a grown man, but maybe a friendly word of caution. At the hospital I see it often that babies are born into relationships that probably shouldn’t be relationships anymore and sometimes girls try to keep a man by having a baby with him, which is always a bad idea. Be careful, is what I mean. Not saying that I think Taylor would do that, but we don’t know for sure that she wouldn’t either.” Connor tried his best.

“I know, no worries, my dad and I already had this very talk as well. I don’t think Taylor would do something like that intentionally, but I still never let down my guard. My dad and I also know that Taylor’s daddy is the type who would come after me with the shotgun to make an honest woman out of his girl if THAT were to ever happen. He did that to his own son, Josh accidentally knocked up some out-of-towner he had a fling with, and now he’s married to her, waiting for the baby to be born. Josh’s new bride is nice enough, but about as much a rancher as Bri is, so this is going to get interesting at some point. And I know whatcha probably thinking after everything that happened at my dad’s wedding, so I wanna say this loud and clear: I need to lose Taylor for me, not just because of Bri … that’s all I am gonna say on that. Tay and I just aren’t working anymore, haven’t been for a while, and it’s making both of us crazy, she won’t see it, so I gotta be the one to pull the plug for both our sakes. If I ever manage to get her to hear me, I wanna be alone for a while, just think and reflect on life and my future.”

“Okay, now it’s getting scary, as you sound exactly like my sister, word for word. That was Bri verbatim.”

“Ha, well, great minds, I suppose. Wait – Bri’s single?!” Jackson’s proverbial ears perked up.

“Down boy – we just came to the conclusion that you want to be alone too for a while if you can ever shake that Velcro-girlfriend of yours. So, quit thinking what you are thinking now. Just for the record, I am still not loving the way everything went down back at your father’s wedding, let alone the revelations that followed. I like you, Jackson, you are so much like your dad, so I can help it, and if you were any other dude you’d be sucking your meals through straws for the foreseeable future, but I am still not loving the visuals of what you and my sister have been doing has given me, let alone that you both dragged me into it to begin with, so tread lightly now.”

“I was just …”

“Jackson, just let it go and remember what I said!”

“Yes Sir.”

Both men stood next to each other silently for a while, watching Bri with Stryker, talking and laughing, until she realized they were being watched, so Bri waved them over.

“Come here, guys! Stryker wants to show you something.” Bri exclaimed as Connor and Jackson joined them.

“Ready?” she smiled encouragingly at Stryker, who nodded, composing himself, inhaled, while being coached by Bri on breathing.

“Thank you, Jackson, for opening your home to me and taking such good care of me, for being so patient with me and for working your magic with Phoenix. Makes enduring all that country music all the time almost enjoyable.” he said in a mostly clear voice and very coherent, though followed by a small cough attack.

Everyone had a good laugh at it, then Connor and Stryker talked amongst themselves, giving Jackson and Bri time to speak as well.

“How’d ya do that? That was the most he got out clearly in one sitting since he came to stay with me months ago now. Nice touch, that jab at my music taste. Extra credit for that.” Jackson told Bri, smiling.

“Ha, sadly, I can’t take credit for it, that was all Stryker, guess you should update your playlist. I’ve been teaching him breathing techniques. Voice lessons can come in handy. Connor said something about Stryker’s throat, larynx and his esophagus having been damaged by all those random drugs he’d been downing, low-quality and heck knows what else had been mixed in it, it’s still healing slowly, but there may be scars so his voice might never be the same, but if he figures out a different way to make the sounds, he’ll talk more normal again. If it heals, he can just go back to how he always talked. Fingers crossed.”

“Voice lessons, huh? You wanna be a singer?”

“I am the daughter of a 4th generation musician. We all take lessons, well, all but Connor cos he’s … Connor, but some of my cousins also take acting classes, just in case we can’t come up with any other careers except being Nepo babies. I used to ballet dance too. Still can dance on pointe … well … not so much right now. I have zero core strength, I can barely to get up and sit down without wanting to cry. And I wish I were exaggerating.”

“Connor said something happened? You seem okay … umm. Are you? Okay I mean?” Jackson tried to ask without prying.

“Well, okay is relative … I am and I am not. Go for a walk with me? I wanna limit the audience for all this, so I am telling you in strictest confidence.” Bri pulled him towards the pond.

Jackson nodded and they started strolling off, while Bri got him caught up. When Jackson didn’t say anything after she finished talking, she pressed.

“Nothing?”

“Whatcha want me to say? I am glad you are okay, sorry you’re hurtin’ so much. And … sorry about … Brad.”

“Maybe you could say something encouraging about me being damaged goods now?”

“Damaged goods? How you mean?”

“I probably can’t have kids, Jackson. Like … ever. I know, I know, there is a small chance, but honestly, there’s also a small chance of winning the lottery, meeting a leprechaun or getting run over by a truck.”

“Not around here there ain’t.” Jackson chuckled, winking at Bri.

Briar Rose sighed and turned away, he followed and turned her back to him.

“Sorry, was just tryin’ to make ya smile, not upset ya. That’s how I usually deal when something big happens that feels uncomfortable. I don’t know what to say here. I get it, this is rough news and unexpected, but it’s really no big deal either. Look Bri, if a man really loves ya and you him, it don’t matter none. Either you do have kids, or you don’t, and let me tell ya from experience, there are more than enough kids needing a good home, even if ya didn’t make ’em yourself. Someone else did and they failed them. Doesn’t matter where they came from, if someone is so keen on raisin’ kids, there are many options.”

“Yeah, I like the idea, just how many men do you know who would really want that? I have been all over the forums online about all this and truth is, everyone wants their own kids. Especially the kind of crowd my family runs with in Brindleton Bay, I can promise you that. Even Iris seems to feel that way. Everyone wants to continue their own bloodlines for whatever reasons. I am most definitely worth less now in that aspect.”

“That’s some steamin’ bullshit, and I wouldn’t know about that. If someone feels that way, ya needa keep walkin’. I – for one – don’t give a hoot if I ever have my own kids. If I do, great, if I don’t, great as well. I don’t need to breed me some heirs, whatever for? My dad’s most definitely gonna have at least one, if not two kids with Izzy, so if I die, my stuff goes to them or maybe Vivienne, even though nobody understands all that hush hush about her true origins. All I own that I care about is a small cabin, some land and the horses and something tells me, I’ll outlive them. Then again, check back with me tomorrow. Taylor may have sped up my demise by then.” Jackson finished with a frown.

“Trouble in paradise?” Briar Rose asked.

“Just another attempt to break up with her. One of many, lost count.” Jackson shrugged.

“Jeeze, can’t the girl take a hint?”

“I gave her more than hints, Bri, plenty of ’em, but she just ignores them, leaves, and comes back the next day as if nothing happened, acting as if I were a fool and don’t know what I am sayin’.”

“Relationship groundhog day? Yikes. Then again, can’t say I blame her. You’re a tough act to follow for certain. Nobody wants to let YOU go. Speaking from experience here.”

“Funny ya should say that. Connor said to give you space and time, but I am so tempted to say something totally inappropriate here.”

“Like … that your fly’s been open?”

Shocked, Jackson checked, realizing quickly Bri was messing with him, so he gave her a look.

“Made you look … I thought you like jokes when the topic gets too tough?” she giggled.

“Yeah, usually, just not when the topic is really important to me. Bri, I am serious here, tell me again that we got no chance. Cos I am forgetting why that was, thinking some of the reasons may have changed and am very tempted …” he said, as both noticed the mood between them changing, charging up with the usual electricity. Bri leaned up against him, gently petting his face as he placed his hands on her, ever so careful.

“I know, Jackson, me too, but I can’t even think about any of this right now. I really do need time to just heal, physically, but mentally too. The news hit hard, Jackson. As a guy you may not be able to understand, and it is so hard to really explain. I know what you are thinking, and trust me, I thought it too, but not only have our circumstances not changed, we still are both looking at an unsolvable problem, you still have a girlfriend, and I can’t just abandon Brad and move on as if nothing happened, when something REALLY big just happened to both of us, him and me. He’s not doing good with any of this either, he understands why I did what I did and that I did it for his and my sake, but that does not make it any easier. Look, for over a year he and I both thought our future would be graduate high school, then college, then work a little, travel a lot, eventually we get married and sometime way down the road have one or two children together, living happily in a nice, big home in Brindleton Bay. I never made any other plans at all, so right now, I feel absolutely lost at sea and I know Brad feels the same way, and it’s nobody’s fault.” Bri said, placing her head against his shoulder so he wrapped his arms around her protectively and comforting as both stood silently, eyes shut.

“Nah, I do get it, I am in the same boat. Or at least a very similar situation. I know what makes sense and what I should feel and do, but I can’t control it and I know I should do something to at least fix some of it, yet I just can’t seem to get it done. Maybe we both just need some time to figure things out. And I am thinkin’ we both may need to consider a change of course altogether, away from the expected and into uncharted seas … I mean, you never know for sure something don’t work, till ya try …”

Suddenly, out of nowhere Taylor appeared, shoving Bri right out of Jackson’s embrace, slapping him so hard it left a mark.

“You asshole – gotta be kidding me!? How dare you!? It’s like you are doing this on purpose now! Who do you think you are?!” Taylor yelled her heartbreak and frustrations out at Jackson.

Briar Rose had caught herself, turned around, gasped and went straight back to Taylor, shoving her away from Jackson, yelling

“What the hell, you crazy bitch?! Don’t hit him! Especially not over nothing!”

The mood was clearly hostile, Taylor was clearly more than upset, as she stumbled a few steps away before she managed to steady herself, turned to glare at Jackson, then shot eye daggers at Bri, while letting out a grim grunt, heading back towards Briar Rose.

Then, everything happened way too fast for even vampire Connor to act in time. He and Stryker had noticed the commotion across the pond and turned to see what’s going on when the next events were already put in motion.
Jackson tried to grab Taylor, but she evaded his reach, grabbing a handful of Bri’s hair, flinging her aside.

Bri stumbled over her own feet, lost balance and with a fearful shriek crashed directly into a rock, stomach first, landing hard, then fell to her knees with a loud scream, grabbing her mid-section, leaving a bloody stain on the rock as she yelped in pain, a deep red stain on the front of her light-colored dress now. Everyone was frozen with shock, when they heard someone’s horrified scream.

“Nooo! Bri!” Connor screamed, he had since ported to her, picking his sister up carefully, it was clear to even a layman that her incision stitches had reopened, and she was bleeding now.

Jackson tried to run towards them, but the next moment they were gone, leaving only the usual black cloud to dissipate and two shocked faces.

“Oh my God, I didn’t mean to hurt her like that! That was an accident! Oh my God, no! I didn’t want that!” Taylor shrieked, genuinely terrified.

“This wasn’t your fault, none of this, it was mine, but ya need to go now and stay gone or I will forget myself! GET!!!” Jackson snarled, barely keeping his calm.