Chapter 536) Love Against Reason

“I loved her against reason,
against promise, against peace,
against hope, against happiness,
against all discouragement that could be.”

~C. Dickens

San Sequoia
The Coneira

Closing her eyes, inhaling deeply, Briar Rose tried to ignore Jackson standing near the front door with Keira, Taylor and Stryker, when her parents, her twin sister Iris and she were greeted by Connor at the front door after arriving at their party. Luckily, he had his back to her. And sure, she had been ‘warned’ he’d be here, but actually seeing him was harder in practice than in theory.

Following Connor to the buffet, she tried to hide behind the others as all passed Jackson, Taylor and Stryker, who were standing with Keira and her friend Chelsea, and it almost worked, had she not heard Taylor laugh followed by her saying

“I hope it’s gon’ be a lil girl! I want me some more girl power on my ranch!” she said, making Bri’s ears perk up. WHAT?!

“How about twins or triplets … go big or go home, right?” Stryker laughed.

“Hey now, easy, what did I ever do to ya?! That would be a lot of extra work for me!” Jackson chimed in.

His voice, the timbre and his twang instantly giving Bri goosebumps, along with Taylor’s words distracted her enough to crane her neck back at the group, causing her to run right into her nephew’s toddler playpen.

With a startled yelp Bri went over and down with an almost artistic full flip most gymnasts would envy, landing in a sort of Superman pose inside the thankfully vacant playpen with a loud crash and creaking plastic.

Scrambling back up as fast as she could, she felt her heart pound hard in her chest, her cheeks burning hot as if in slow-motion she noticed most other party guests looking over at her. Her parents, sister and brother near her, frozen in place for utter shock, staring.
And Jackson.
And Taylor, who now laughed, clearly gleeful at her clumsiness, which stung more than it should, with Jackson’s eyes on her, feeling humiliated. And he did nothing. Just stood and stared at her humiliation.

Bri’s fight or flight instinct kicked in and she just turned around, stepped over her nephew’s playpen fence and ran. Back to the front door, outside and just to the fence gate and then off to anywhere. Anywhere but here.

She didn’t get far, ran right into something hard but at the same time soft, pliable, before she could even reach for the handle to open the gate, then Bri looked into her brother Connor’s baby blue eyes.

“NOPE!” he said, blocking the gate to the street.

“I really hate having a vampire for a brother sometimes.” she said against the vacuum in her head.

“Oh, I bet. Who would have thought my high school football moves would come in handy again one day to stop my sister from darting out of my party like a singed pig … Are you all right? There were at least 4 people near you in there with superhuman speed and you didn’t even give us a chance to react … did you hurt yourself?”

“Not really, just bruised my ego. Please do not ask why I ran. I mean … that was SOOOO embarrassing in there! Dammit. KLUTZ.”

“Yeah, maybe a bit too distracted, and I am glad you didn’t get injured, but then you think running out, probably right into traffic without even looking is the solution? Seriously Bri, you need to start slowing down and being more careful. I get it’s humiliating to faceplant in front of an audience, but this reaction is a bit extreme, especially knowing you’ve never been the most graceful and have a tendency to be distracted and run into things, which you’d normally laugh off and make one of your witty remarks about. You do not run as if your hair had caught fire normally. Incidentally after seeing Jackson. Yeah, I saw. So, what is going on THIS TIME between you two? And do not even try to blow me off. I KNOW something’s up. Share!” Connor’s normally soft and melodic voice sounded firm and demanding.

“We just … disagree on something and … that’s it. So, he’s dating Taylor again? And now she’s …”

“BRI! None of your business, remember? You are back with Brad in an EXCLUSIVE relationship, so you don’t need to worry about who’s dating who at my party. I cringed inviting both of you, I have to invite you, cos that would really raise flags if I didn’t, and I really want you here, you’re my little sister, so sweet and usually a lot of fun and a lot more personable and cuddlier than Iris, she has always been the aloof and quiet type, she literally fought and screamed and cried when someone held her too long, while you would just climb into my lap and demand to be loved on when you were little. But this party is also a test to see how Stryker does with all that ruckus now. He wants to be able to take longer trips to see his kids and Sophie eventually, so we need to test where he is at and slowly build up his social stamina, so he’s probably gonna be here a lot more, meaning so will Jackson, most likely. Plus, I promised Jack I’d keep an eye on his kid, and this is the most low-key way. I am already at Jackson’s ranch once or twice a week to check up on Stryker, I can’t show up more often or it would be too obvious that I am doing Jack’s bidding. So, he’s here, you are here, and by his sour mood for the past weeks and your strange reaction – even by your standards – I am now certain you are each other’s reasons for the odd behavior. So, since you two went from magnetism to opposing poles I deduce something happened and you’re fighting or broken up now? So, I am all ears, sweet lil sissy o’ mine.”

“Why don’t you ask HIM?” she sounded somewhere between defensive and pouty.

“Because I am asking YOU, and he is not my little sister! YOU are! Underaged, too, so I still get to stick my nose in all this. We can take this to mom and dad, too, if you prefer.” Connor pointed back at his house.

“Ugh, not you with the big brother gun-to-the-head routine again! Fiiiiiiiiine, here’s your answer: We couldn’t break up cos we were never officially together. But doesn’t matter, I found out Jackson doesn’t give two shits about me anyway.”

“Okay, now I KNOW there is new drama already in progess, cos I know that to not be true. And fine, so you won’t call it dating, but we all KNOW you were more than friends; I had front row for it when we found out! Bri, I know this isn’t just a lil tiff between friends, like you would have with Jasper. This has something to do with you both, romantically. So, let’s try it again, cos I really like to know what dumpster fire I have summoned into my home THIS time.”

“Okay, fine. Remember when I went to stay with Jasper for a weekend to go to that open air concert with him? Before the concert I had him take me to Jackson’s ranch so I could tell him that he and I couldn’t happen romantically ever again and that I chose Brad. I was hoping being there in person and being straight-forward and honest about my reasons why would make it so we could remain friends. JUST friends, no benefits, but … not so much. He acted like a total jerk, and I haven’t seen him or heard from him since. I can’t call him, since Brad deleted Jackson’s number back in Tartosa and I keep forgetting to get it from him again. So unless you wanna give me his number, it is what it is. This is how it goes when I try to do things the right way. Blows up in my face and I get the blame from all sides. I thought this was the adult way to handle this messed up situation. Guess adult way doesn’t equal ideal.” Bri sighed.

“Yeah, if you want Jackson’s number, you gotta ask him yourself, I am most definitely not gonna end up sucked into that again. All I know it that Jackson hasn’t been himself lately, like I said I noticed that a couple weeks ago. He’s used to be so easy-going, always polite, friendly, now he is perma-grumpy, snarky and even less interested in socializing than usual. According to Stryker he’s still polite and friendly to him, so I let it ride, but just tonight I had to fight the urge to plant my foot firmly in his obnoxious rear twice already, I can’t say for sure, but suspect he may have had a few beers before he got here, luckily Taylor’s driving or I would have put him in the guestroom for the night, whether he wanted to or not, and I saw him eyeing the booze cart half a dozen times, so now Colton and dad are taking turns guarding it from him, just in case he gets funky ideas. I don’t like him getting into the booze now, not with Stryker living with him and Jack would probably be on the next plane back if he thought his son was going that route. I can’t be everywhere all at once, but it gives me another reason to wanna have Stryker and Jackson where I can keep a bit of an eye on them, so I will have them out here more in the future. I know you like to come hang with me for long weekends and breaks, especially with mom and dad still having those farewell tour increments, and I like having you visit. So in future, but especially for tonight that means I get that all this is uncomfortable to put it mildly, but I am not in the mood for teenage relationship drama, so do me a favor and just behave. Stay out of his way, don’t do any Bri-stuff, do not engage him, taunt him, don’t pick fights with Taylor, okay?! THAT is how you adult, Bri.” Connor pressed.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Briar Rose sighed.

“Swear it!” Connor demanded.

“I swear, by the power vested in me by Castle Greyskull …” Bri put on the theatrics, raising her arms, Connor gently slapped them back down.

“Smartass. And you misquoted!” Connor sighed.

“That’s because I am not the nerd out of us two.” Bri retorted.

“Keep that up and I will make you sit in my lap in front of everyone, feeding you some of Chris’ toddler food!”

Smirking, Connor pinched her nose before putting his arm around her and walking back in the house with her.

The party itself went okay, a lot smaller crowd than usual, mostly local friends of Connor and Keira’s, the only out-of-towners were his parents and sisters, Keira’s parents and her younger brother Jasper, and then Jackson, Stryker and Taylor.
It wasn’t too hard for Bri to avoid them, since Jasper was there, Connor and Keira’s friends were upbeat and humorous, starting fun party games that had people rolling, and it was even kind of fun even for Bri, until she needed time away from everyone.
Just be alone with her thoughts for a little while, usually she’d go into Connor’s pretty backyard for this, but it had started raining hard.
Instead, she decided to go check on her toddler nephew Chris, who was sleeping upstairs. While Connor was significantly older than his twin sisters, a whopping 15 years, Bri had always been close with him, and his son felt a little like her own, especially considering she’d likely never have her own flesh and blood to raise, so she had to experience it all through Chris and maybe one day through Iris’ child or children.

Without turning on the lights, since enough nightlights were all over Chris’ room to see where she was going, Briar Rose crouched down next to his little bed, watched him, fast asleep in his little bed completely unfazed. She straightened out his cover, kissed his pudgy soft cheek and carefully, gently stroked his dark blond hair. Just like Connor and Bri, the little boy was born dark-haired, but then started lightening more and more to blond, making her feel even closer connected to him.

“You look so much like an angel; too bad you are not fooling me anymore. I have seen the trouble you can cause. But still I can never stay mad at you for long, you really ARE the most adorable trouble on cute little legs.” she whispered.

“Personal motto?” a voice from the dark startled her, she let out a high-pitched squeak, while turning around.

“Why are you doing sitting in the dark in someone else’s nursery?! Stalk little boys now, you creep?!” she asked, relaxing when she recognized Jackson’s silhouette, then a quick look at the toddler confirmed his slumber was still undisturbed. That kid could sleep through an earthquake.

“Whatcha doing here? Lookin’ for yer sugar daddy? Forget to pack him? Or is he getting his perm redone?” Jackson said in a low voice.

“A) Chris is my nephew, you idiot, so I can be in this nursery all I want! B) Brad’s curls are cute and 100% natural, no perms needed, C) He and I LITERALLY just got back from a week in Tomarang, so he’s allowed to spend some time with his own family rather than hang out with mine now, besides Iris’ man isn’t here either, bet you didn’t even miss Sterling yet, huh? Brad-obsessed much?! And D) through Z) do you not realize that I am wealthy too? I don’t need a sugar daddy, I got my own money.” Bri snapped at him, working hard to keep her voice down to not wake Christian.

“Nah, ya don’t. Yer daddy does. You got nuttin’. Which is why you went the safe route. Date the rich guy, marry the rich guy. Trophy wife. Glorified pors … prostrit.. postitrude … prostitute!” Jackson slurred his words.

“Ummm, thanks, how sweet. I can feel the love and respect, you judgmental redneck. Wait – are you really drunk? I thought Connor was full of it, but he’s right, isn’t he? You came to a party inebriated!”

“Yup.”

“Oh lovely! That’s why you are so weird. Great. Get drunk around Stryker, nice going. Well, was nice knowing you. If Connor catches you wasted in the nursery around his toddler son, he will process you for canning! There’ll be nothing left of you.” Bri said.

“Too late for that.”

“Aww, such bitter words from a daddy-to-be. Oh, yeah, I heard, Mr.-Foster-Kids-Need-Help-Too and I-Don’t-Even-Want-Kids! Congratulations! When’s the wedding? Not like I would be invited, let alone show up if I were, but just curious.” Briar Rose’s tone turned bitter.

“I never said I don’t want kids, I said I don’t care if I have any or not. What are you even talking about? You sound drunker than me.” his voice was rough and low.

“Totally sober, but admittedly only because I am 17, my brother is a walking security camera and also both my parents are downstairs, cos tonight sure would be the night to get wasted. I heard you talking with her about it so don’t even try to play coy here. Oh, she hopes it will be a girl, how sweet. Is that what you want too? Or rather a little rough tough baby cowboy without any cares or feelings, just like daddy? Oh, the choices. Congratulations. I am gonna go puke now.” Bri’s tone turned acidic.

Jackson started laughing, having a hard time keeping it down to not wake Chris. Bri could see Jackson shake his head, as he raised up from the two-seater slowly like a man at least thrice his age, stabilizing himself before he just left the nursery, still chuckling and shaking his head. When he had quietly shut the door behind himself, Bri gasped,

“Is he seriously just leaving me standing here like this?! AGAIN!? Oh, HELL NO!” she mumbled to herself, left the nursery, carefully shutting the door behind herself quietly, before she rushed after Jackson grabbing his arm, trying to turn him around to her, he was too heavy, so she pulled herself around to face him, blocking his path to the stairs.

“You knocked her up! I can’t believe you did that! You know babies are my sore spot, I told you about all that. I poured my heart out to you, and you fed me the cute crap about how you don’t need and want babies and it doesn’t make me less and blah blah blah foster kids blah! Next thing I know is you pollinated Taylor! TAYLOR! ARGH! I swear you did that on purpose! You ran right back to Taylor and made her pregnant just to get back at me! I hope you had the time of your life watching me fall earlier. I hate you so much right now!” Bri felt tears forcing their way up, she was fighting them hard, but her voice cracked a little, barely able to mask her jealousy and disappointment.

“You are so stupid, Bri. On so many levels, ain’t even funny anymore. Immature. Your packaging says woman, but the contents are all child! You are such a dumb kid, Bri, now I see why they don’t like little girls like you dating grown-ups! What wouldcha have me do when you fell? Scoop ya up in my arms and .. what? Right in front of yer daddy? I didn’t know you forgot your boyfriend at home, thought he’d be there to save ya! You just go and think what you will, like ya do anyway. At least I don’t go ’round stealin’ horses!” Jackson sounded mostly upset, but no longer drunk.

“Excuse me?! I am plenty mature, don’t be so proud of those two measly years you have on me, less than a year till I am 18, as if that would make such a difference anyway. Two years won’t mean much in a few years from now – and I didn’t steal ANYTHING!” Bri stuck her tongue out at him, realizing too late she was highlighting his point about immaturity, so she blushed. Dammit!

“I didn’t give her to YOU. I gave her to Cal and Isla! YOU took her, and she wasn’t yours to take, but guess that’s what ya do. Just take, take, take and then run away without a care about the wreckage you leave behind!”

“Do what with what?! What are you talking about, you drunk nut?!”

“The horse! You needa give ‘er back! She’s not yours, you can’t have her, and neither can he. Especially not him!” Jackson sounded almost sober again.

“Oh, Prairie Rose? Yeah, nice touch you moron! Imagine my surprise when I stumble across the horse you named after me half a world away! Oh wait, next you’re gonna tell me you didn’t sell her. Yeah. Was she just on a little horsey-vacation in the Henfordian countryside for birdwatching and to snap some fun pics to make her horsey-friends jealous or what?! You fucking turned around and sold her the second I cut you off from free nookie, when I didn’t want to be your side-chick anymore. So, who’s the child in adult packaging now? That was childish of you! I didn’t steal her, Brad traded a purebred, pedigreed Clydesdale broodmare for her. At least 4 or 5 times her value if not more! Nobody stole! The Duncans came out on top on that one! And everyone has what they wanted.” Briar Rose ranted.

“My side-chick?! You really have selective memory, but I am not gonna get into all that again or I swear I will forget myself and that won’t end pretty! I wasn’t gonna talk to ya at all tonight, yet here we are anyway. So lemme say that I can’t believe you did that! You rich people really respect no boundaries at all, do ya?! The Duncans don’t need a prized mare, they just wanted a horse to stand with theirs! They are simple people, if word gets out you stuck them with a nag more expensive than their goddamn house, ya think how long that horse will be there? Every low-life crook on that damn island is gonna try steal that damn horse from them! Prairie Rose was mine, IS MINE, but I needed her off my ranch! Temporarily at least. She wasn’t for sale, just … boarded elsewhere!” Jackson’s voice rumbled across the upstairs hallway.

“She is named after me. I SHOULD own her. And now I do.”

“But you still don’t! I own her! And unless I am the one giving her to ya, that will never change! But until I can get this fixed, now HE owns her. Just like he owns YOU. Bought and paid for. YOU and Prairie Rose both. Never even spared a thought on how I might feel about it all either, no surprise there!” Jackson sounded bitter.

“Why would you care about any of that anyway? You’ll have a pretty blonde blue-eyed baby with Taylor soon to keep you busy! You know what? I hope it’s not just one, I hope it’s sixtuplets, no, I hope you both turn into Octomom and -dad and that she will be all saggy and baggy and fat and ugly and her figure will NEVER be normal again, and you can park a small car in her hoo-ha!! You said you don’t even care about having babies … LIAR! You want to make your own, just like everyone else! You were probably laughing at me while I was telling you about all that!” Bri was very upset now.

“You’re being stupid again! Where I come from, we tell people like you ‘bless yer heart! So, bless yer heart, Bri, really really good!”

“Well, too bad you already told me what that REALLY means, so screw you too, douchebag!” Bri retorted.

Angrily, she shoved him, not even very hard, barely sending him back a step.

Fuming, he shoved her back.

She shoved him back harder, nothing violent but because of his still somewhat inebriated state, he stumbled, tripping over his own feet, landing on his rear on the ground.

“Oh shit! I didn’t mean to … here …. ” Bri offered her hand to help him up, but he pushed it aside, while pulling himself up by the stairwell railing, then just ran down the stairs. Bri inhaled sharply, holding her breath, listening, hoping he wouldn’t fall and break his neck.
When time passed without loud thuds she relaxed, fighting the tears.
What just happened?! What the hell was all that?!

Whatever it had been, so THIS was how things would be between them now? Awkward, rude and angry? Plus, shoving like kids on a playground, cos evidently, they were both REALLY mature.

Yikes.

Once she felt she was mostly in control of her emotions again, she went downstairs too.

Bri didn’t see Jackson, Stryker or Taylor. While craning her neck for any signs or sounds of them, her sister-in-law Keira appeared in front of her. Bri had been too distracted to say if he walked up or ported and it didn’t seem to matter since only 2 or 3 guests were still here aside from Bri’s parents and sister.

“Oh Bri, sweetie, there you are. I was just about to come looking for you. Everyone is ready to leave. I don’t know where you went but Jasper was heartbroken he didn’t get to say goodbye, said he texted you but no response, my parents and he already left, but you missed a discussion, I think you would have loved to be a part of, knowing how crazy you are about horses. So, Taylor is totally excited that Jackson let her breed her stallion with one of his mares, since her new boyfriend said no, as he only has one horse, and you apparently can’t ride them anymore when they are pregnant or something. So, Jackson stepped in to help out and even lets her have the foal for free. Or foals. Stryker kept joking about multiples, mostly to tease Jackson since they will be born on his ranch by one of his mares and he said foaling can be a lot of work. He started going into details and I could tell Connor was here for it, but I stopped them. Ugh. Taylor really hopes it will be a girl … since she already has a male horse and wants to see if mares are really so much moodier. Wonder why Jackson has mostly mares then. He must really like moody girls, hahaha, the perfect man to be around, especially during THAT time a month? HAHAHA. Then again your brother is super-patient with me too, I’ll admit that and …” Keira was still talking to her, but Bri completely zoned out, mouth agape, and didn’t hear a single word her sister-in-law was saying anymore.

A horse was pregnant.
Not Taylor.
Ergo, Jackson didn’t knock her up.
Because she had a new boyfriend.
One who wasn’t Jackson.
So, he was all alone now.
WHAT?!?!
This was not at all how all this was supposed to have gone in Bri’s mind.
That went a little like this: Bri had the talk with Jackson, he would understand, date Taylor – UGH – again and be happy, while Bri got back together with Brad, finally happy again, and then everyone just rode off into a sunset together. Just like it was supposed to be. And everyone would be happy, nobody would be lonely, and maybe eventually all would be friends and hang out together and all that.
But no.
Nope!
No, of course that is not at all how that went.
So, if THIS wasn’t how this was supposed to go, then how?
HOW?!?!
Adulting was way overrated and made no sense.
None, whatsoever.