Chapter 550) Visits & Vodka Toast

San Sequoia
The Coneira 
(Home to Connor, Keira, their son Christian and dogs 'Morpheus' and 'Artemis'

“Christian – NO! Don’t you dare, kid! God-fu … fuzzy lintballs! ” Connor started cursing, but quickly corrected himself, causing Jack to laugh out loud.

“Fuzzy lintballs? What on God’s green earth is that now?! Is that the wifey or the high life in fancy town talkin’?” he asked bemused, watching his best friend Connor sprint to keep his 5-year-old son from throwing a bucket full of sand from his playground into the pool.

“That is the fact that my precious little loin fruit here is a darn sponge, but only if HE wants to be. ONE time I cursed around him recently, and immediately he kept proclaiming it to the world on a loop, while we were out grocery shopping! And that from the kid who had to seriously think about saying mommy or daddy for the first time for weeks, even though he had no problem saying ‘Morphy’. Tells you where we rank with my kid. First the one dog, then probably the other dog and then his parents. Isn’t that right, Chris?” Connor asked his son, after relieving him of his bucket, tossing it over into the play area and scooping up his kid.

“Beach!” the little boy informed his dad, pointing at the pool.

“No kid, your mom and I don’t want a beach in the backyard, we prefer a pool. Leave the sand where it is, okay? Can you show Jack how to build the biggest sandcastle ever?”

“It’s a house, daddy! Castles are for girls.” Chris corrected, slightly annoyed by his father’s perceived inaptitude.

“Yeah, right, silly me. Fine, then impress Uncle Jack with a huge sand house on LAND, no beachfront properties by the pool, okay little man?” Connor addressed his son.

“You built a house here, there is the water …” whined Chris, pointing at the Sequoia Bay, namesake of the town, which was across the road from Connor’s home, Connor just shook his head and sighed.

“No son, someone else built this house, I just paid for it cos your mom wanted it.”

Chris considered it, then turned to Jack.

“Uncle Jack, can you make me a house right THERE?” he pointed next to the pool, after having seemingly resolved that his own father was useless for that endeavor and since grown-ups could do anything, Jack had to be the answer.

“Seriously now?! Christian Chase Cameron, can you PLEASE just drop that? I said no, and that is the end of it. Uncle Jack is tired, not as tired as he will be in a about half a year from now, but let’s leave him be, okay?” Connor had to keep from laughing while trying to parent his kid.

“Yeah Chris, my friend, dontcha go gettin’ me in trouble with yer dad now!” Jack smiled.

“Vodka toast! I want vodka toast, daddy!” the little boy decided, unimpressed.

“Sure. Later. Not now. Now you play, cos your daddy needs you to be tuckered out, you lil bolt of energy. I mean it. Discussion is closed, son!” Connor’s tone got firm as he sat his child back down on his designated play area, Chris shrugged and went back to playing, so Connor rejoined Jack.

“Vodka? I don’t know much ’bout all y’all’s vamp business and you are the trained medical professional here, but ain’t that bit much for a lil kid? I mean, it’ll shut him up for sure, but … daaaang.” Jack chuckled.

“Agh, as if! He means avocado toast. Keke and I corrected him a million times, he repeats avocado and toast and then still calls it vodka toast, there is no parenting trick to dissuade that kid to NOT call it that anymore, so he just has to outgrow it. Keira is trying so hard to teach him to eat healthy, just in case he decides to abandon the fanged life when he reaches a certain age and will be given a choice. That means daddy has to eat healthy too. I don’t need food, and we don’t gain weight, so I usually go for the good stuff. Avocado toast doesn’t make the list for me. Vodka toast might … if I ever figure out how to attempt that, I’ll send you the recipe.” Connor explained.

Jack laughed, handing Connor a fresh beer he had opened for his friend as he joined him again.

“Yeah, laugh it up, my friend, take it all in, Jack. Soon you will be enjoying ALL this firsthand, something new each and every day, and you betcha I will be there laughing at you, every chance I get, like a best friend should. Fun times ahead, at least for me from the backseat here watching you squirm. But also the most precious. Even as a doctor, looking at that little boy over there, knowing Keke and I made him, watch him grow and eventually soar … that is something just short of magic.” Connor’s tone changed to nostalgic.

“Yeah, I know I got the easy button so far with the kid rearin’, but that was never my choice. I wish I could claim I had more to do with how Jackson turned out. And my sweet baby girl Vivienne … man, I don’t know if agreeing to her step-daddy’s terms was the right thing, then again, not like I had a lot of options. Thinkin’ I might get myself in trouble with our esteemed Majesty before long, soon as we tell them we’re pregnant in a few weeks. You, Keira and my son got the news hot off the presses. Ev’yone else gotta wait till second trimester.”

“Why would you think there’s trouble brewing? AG had another baby after Viv. She seems over you, no offense, but isn’t that what we would want? I see no reason for drama, Jack. Quit trying to be the Desperate Housewife of Henfordshire. Your tits aren’t big enough for that, my brother.” Connor grinned at his friend.

“Didn’t mean ‘er. Meant her husband. Been hintin’ around at adopting Vivienne straight out and I ain’t gonna do that! No Sir, no Ma’am, that’s my baby and she’ll dang well stay that way as long as I have a breath in me. I love my kids, even though I haven’t been able to be the type of picturebook daddy. Vivienne is the closest I got so far and I am livin’ for it. AG can marry ten other men, none of them are gon’ take MY baby!”

“Max wouldn’t do that. And even if he felt behooved to ask, he’d be reasonable, he’d accept your decision. But if you’re groomed for drama already, let’s talk about my lil sis and your son? Isn’t that something, huh? They still haven’t come out and really announced they’re an item, but they aren’t hiding anything either, just putting their relationship out for all to see. I mean, we all saw the writing on the wall years ago but catching them smooching gives me the big brother feels. Now THAT has drama incoming written all over it in big letters, but she’s 18 now, so all I can do is standby with popcorn in one hand and tissues in the other.” Connor sighed.

“Well, I tried keepin’ that boy’s head on straight. Both heads actually, but it’s like tryin’ to talk a dang skunk outta stinkin’. Didn’t do nothing. Done gone did it anyway. I am sorry Connor, but I don’t know how to stop him, he’s 20 years old and won’t listen to a damn word of caution I say. He nods as if he were listening, but I can see nothing’s registering, and he has tiny hearts coming out of his eyeballs. I ain’t comfortable with it either, I mean, Bri’s is precious, but we both know there is hardly a future for them. Just feels like deja vu all over again to me, a sad rerun of AG and Jack, just the actors are even younger this time. Watch and learn, my foot. Those two watched and learned a whole lot o’nothin’!” Jack huffed.

“Yeah, we’re all wondering about how they imagine their future, but first Bri will be at college for a few years, maybe absence will make their brains grow clearer instead of their hearts grow fonder, but I will tell you, can’t fight love. I am having a hard time with my little sisters dating, period, but even I can see Bri is head over heels for Jackson. Hard to argue with that.”

“Heart wants what it wants. Then again, once upon a time I thought my heart wanted AG, was convinced of it. Was heartbroken it didn’t work out, now I am glad, wondering what I ever wanted with a girl like her, but without AG and knockin’ her up I would have never ended up in HOB and I would have never met Izzy. Everything’s different with her. Easy. It just works. Had ya asked me some years back, I’d’ve told ya no ten horses would remove me from my ranch in Chestnut Ridge. Now, same ten horses plus their buddies couldn’t get me back there to stay for good. Izzy and I bought that old farmhouse, all we could afford, but we made it a home, together, both of us, she’s not afraid to get her hands dirty. I could have never done that with AG. I would have sworn ev’ry oath that I’d never get married, ain’t for me, was convinced of it. Now I have been married just over a year, and I cannot tell ya, Connor, how that feels, wakin’ up in the mornin’, next to my Mrs. Kershaw, knowin’ it’s how it’s meant to be. And I got an entire family along with her, her parents and brother are like my own. Gotta admit, her wantin’ a kid sounded okay until she gave me that wand sayin’ we made one. I was happy only cos she looked so happy, inside I was shittin’ mah breeches. I mean, I haven’t managed to be a dad to either of my kids the way I think God intended it to be. Heaven help me with that new boy. Cody Kershaw, hope I can do right by ya. And yer mother.”

“Third time’s a charm, Jack, and you are a great dad. Jackson speaks highly of you, and Viv is crazy about you. You did it right with Jackson, when they dumped a 15-year-old boy on you who didn’t know you at all, never met each other before, you gave him space and stability, or it would have failed. I think that is where he learned how to handle Stryker so well. The Vivienne situation is a clusterfuck, you, AG and Max are making the best of it. Would be a lot easier if her other parents weren’t royals. I am liking this new baby thing for you. You have been a great help with Christian from the beginning. Brace yourself buddy. No matter how strong you think you are, you’ll find out you are not. I have brought my share of babies into this world, I give advice on them almost daily, but my own is an entirely different ballgame. Nothing can bring me to my knees more than when something is wrong with Chris.” Connor shrugged.

“Thanks. Lucky, I got some time, she’s just ’bout to hit the second trimester. Kinda sad to think I got two other kids, one of them grown, yet this is the very first time I am gonna experience the entire pregnancy the way it should be, watching the stomach grow, gonna feel the baby kick and all that. Oh hey, your other big toddler is waddling down the stairs. Is he supposed to?” Jack pointed to a window.

Connor leaned forward to peek inside the house, where he could see Stryker attempt to make it down the stairs, wobbly and clinging onto the stair railing, then taking a break standing on the landing as if working up strength to take on the other half of it. With a groan he leaned back, sighing.

“Oh, give me a billion breaks! No, that big toddler is NOT supposed to do that! I tucked that fool in myself, he was all worn out just from me porting him and his suitcase here and showing him to his room upstairs, and I told that man to stay in his room and text me if he needed help with anything! I turn around and he’s crawling down the dang stairs trying to get himself back in the hospital, cos he gets dizzy spells now and might go sailing down the stairs face first! Keep an eye on Chris, please. I’ll be right back. Good one with the big toddler, that’s exactly what I got there, a big man-toddler, won’t listen to me for nothing! I really don’t know how your son handled him all this time! He and Sophie must be Saints!” Connor dispatched with vampire speed, Jack snickered as he watched them argue briefly on the stairs, before eventually arriving outside, where Connor helped Stryker sit down near Jack, before going inside to make lunch so Stryker could take his medication with food.

Jack and Izzy had come for a visit to share their baby news with Jackson and Connor in person, but since Stryker occupied Jack’s old room and Bri was also currently visiting with Jackson, there was no room at the Kershaw Ranch in Chestnut Ridge, so Connor had opened his San Sequoia home to all of them, obviously also to be able to spend some time with everyone. Jack and Izzy had arrived by plane the afternoon prior, Jackson and Bri had come in Jackson’s truck and Connor had retrieved Stryker from Sophie. Earlier, Keira had insisted on taking Izzy and Briar Rose out to a spa and shopping, Jackson had been recruited to be their reluctant driver and caddy. Stryker was still recovering from his heart attack and visit with Sophie and their kids the week prior, currently under Connor’s watchful eye.

“So, you’re the man my boy’s been lookin’ after, heard plenty about ya, nice to finally officially meet ya. I know we’ve kinda run into each other a couple times, but I never really had a chance to talk. Glad to see y’all are okay.” Jack casually extended his hand to Stryker, who took it and shook it.

“Yeah, I am that loser. Your son is amazing. I can only hope mine grow up like that. Or like Connor. If it weren’t for him, I’d’ve been dead long ago. Guess I felt like testing his reflexes again. Wouldn’t be me if I didn’t ruin a good time.” Stryker sighed.

“Well, you wouldn’t be the only loser in this group, my friend and I can’t take any credit for my boy, I only came in at the tail end of his raisin’. His mother did right by him while she could, and then it was the foster families, at least the good ones, and a lot himself. He’s smarter than his dad, so much is clear, and the better man, too. Oh, lemme get rid of all that booze real quick. Sorry about that. Rude to have that all over in front of someone recovering.” Jack reached for the alcohol but Stryker stopped him.

“No, don’t, it’s fine. I can’t hide from this kind of thing or I would never be able to have a social life again. The only friends I have left aside from your son, who could be my son age-wise so that’s awkward, are Connor and his parents, and all of them like to party, and at their parties, alcohol flows like rivers. Booze wasn’t a real problem anyway, at least not my biggest, funnily enough, especially not beer, just maybe the hard liquor, but not as big as the other problems were. Honestly, there wasn’t much left I wasn’t addicted to, no matter what that may have been. Drugs, booze, tobacco, sex, you name it. Beer’s fine, just leave it there, so I can smell it, trying to remember the taste. I’d kill for a sip, but don’t trust myself with a full bottle yet.”

Jack handed him his bottle, 3/4 empty already, after a brief moment of hesitation, Stryker took a sip, rolling it around in his mouth like an expert at a wine tasting.

He eventually let out a deep sigh as he handed Jack his bottle back, then smiled.

“Thanks. That hit me just right. And gave me a serious flashback. When I first came to stay with your son, I was in the worst way, really bad shape, barely even still human, you know the never sure if he wakes again the next morning kind of way, and Jackson took pity on me and let me have a sip of forbidden coffee from his mug, after drowning it in milk. That one little taste, the gesture, made all the difference to me then, told me Jackson saw the man, the human being in me, not the walking problem like everyone else did. I think that was when I started trying again. And you just did the same thing for me. Just a sip to remind me I am still human. You’re a good dude, just like your son. You two do have a lot in common.”

“Well, if we do it ain’t much I can take credit for. Heck, for the first 15 years of his life I didn’t even know Jackson was mine, I most definitely had never been in his life, my late former sister-in-law guessed I was, and to add insult to injury, she insisted he’d be named in my honor, and my poor unassuming late brother went along with it without realizing why she wanted that until many years later, while I was blissfully unaware and farting about far away. The truth literally ended up killing both, my brother and sister-in-law, leaving Jackson orphaned as a little kid, stuck in the system even though he did have a living parent, yet I was nowhere to be found. Yeah, that’s the type of man you are looking at here, I fathered my son with my brother’s wife while he was away working his ass off making a living for them on some oil rig, and the minute I knew she was pregnant I ditched cos it sounded too messy, just kept telling myself my brother was the father. Still, ironically, that poor boy was named in my honor, yet he had not the foggiest that the man he had called dad was actually his uncle and the absentee uncle he heard fantastic war hero stories about, none of which true, and whom he never once met in person, was actually his biological dad. And then at 15 he came to live with me, cos meeting AG and Connor had finally given me a conscience, and Connor helped me find him and get custody. Then there I was, finally doing the right thing, only to realize I had bitten off way more than I could chew, not the first clue how to raise a teen. He’s such a good kid despite of all that mess he had to stomach so young. I don’t deserve the credit. Wish I did, but truth be told, I probably learned just as much from him about being a man than he did from me, if not more. Like I told ya, you ain’t the only loser here at this table.” Jack told him candidly.

“Wow, you’re honest, I like that, no nonsense, just like Jackson. Well, Jack, you won’t find me pointing fingers, I know how easy it is to make the wrong choices and how fast the elevator of life can go down past rock bottom and one day you wake up wondering how the hell you got there, I am right there with you. I got five great kids, can’t take much, if any, credit for how amazing they are beyond having been present long enough to father them, then practically leaving the entire burden on my wife’s – ex-wife’s – shoulders, with the exception of some Sunday afternoon type parenting. Especially now that I am handed around like a filthy highway gas station bathroom key between whomever takes pity on my sorry ass, cos as a grown man I need a babysitter more than Connor’s toddler does. My Sophie is the most loyal woman, yet I purposely ran her off by breaking her heart in the worst way, telling myself I was doing that for her, to protect her, what a load of bull! Made sense to me then, now I can’t believe I did that, thinking it was the right thing. Come to realize too late, that I turned into the exact thing I never wanted to be: my own father, whom I finally met in my thirties for the first time. Yeah, I am the cliché result of the secretary being some rich business owner’s affair that got inconvenient when she got knocked up with me, so he had his lawyers bury us, which made her a bitter and mean woman unable to love her own child. Jealous yet? If not, I can go on. Plenty more where that came from.”

“Nah, no need, I got the gist of it all, and got plenty such stories of my own to tell, so don’t be so hard on yerself. From one screw-up to another, if ya learn from yer mistakes it at least wasn’t all wasted. But ya need to quit findin’ new ways to kill yerself. You got a lot of people rootin’ for ya, make it count, bud.”

“I wish that would have dawned on me years ago, how invaluable what I had then was. Such an idiot. Connor calls me a human cockroach, ya know, hard to kill those little fuckers, even squished, with a leg off and the insides hanging out they still scurry off. That’s how disgusting I feel. Forty fuckin’ years old and had a heart attack because my teen son said a something mean to me, which probably wasn’t even untrue.”

“Well, Connor said you and yer ex had some exercising before you got into it with yer boy, that can be hard on the ticker for anyone. Connor also said yer kid told ya some off-color things no son should say to his dad. Oh, and watch the cursin’. That one over there will get ya in trouble if ya don’t, I only seen Connor mad a few times, but that was all it took for me to know I don’t want to be at the receivin’ end.” Jack smiled.

“Man, I was doin’ so good. Your son taught me horseback riding, can you imagine, me on a horse, but I did it. Sophie said she fell in love with me again after Connor and Keira gave me a little makeover. And now I am practically laid up again, bothering Connor. Just when I was getting closer to my Sophie again. Dammit. Always two steps forward and one big one back again.”

“I don’t know exactly what yer Sophie looks like, I only seen her few times when she’s zoomin’ ’round, cookin’ in her apron and chef’s hat, but ain’t that her.” Jack casually pointed into the house, Stryker looked in the indicated direction and saw her talking to Connor by the front door.

By Stryker’s facial expression Jack already got his answer, Stryker became fidgety, started rustling through his hair trying to smooth it, while looking down on himself.

“How do I look?! Any chance I could borrow your shirt? It’s nicer than mine! Had I known she’d show up I wouldn’t have put on a damn tank top, I am just so sore where they did the heart massage and reanimation, bruised as hell, hard to put on clothes. Wonder what she’s doing here. Hopefully nothing with the kids!” he looked at Jack, panicked.

“Hey, calm down, buddy! Ya look fine, no offense, but I am not gonna sit in Connor’s backyard half-nekkid unless there are others doin’ the same cos of the pool, but not just like this, thinkin’ Keira would have my hide for that. Maybe back where I am from I would, mah house, mah rules, not in this here exquisite neighborhood. Yer ex seen ya in worse shape. Just be happy to see her and quit freakin’ out or you’ll be laid up again with another heart attack. That’s probably why she’s here, to check up on ya.”

“You don’t understand, she lives in Windenburg, that’s on the other side of the country! You don’t just swing by San Sequoia real quick to check up on your loser ex, whom you just spent an entire week with, something must have happened! Hopefully nothing is wrong with the kids. Hopefully not Spencer! Oh boy!” Stryker was entering full on panic mode, so Jack made him look at him.

“Hey hey hey! Think, buddy! If it were an emergency, she’d have CALLED from the hospital and she and Connor wouldn’t be standing in his hallway, talking all chummy and laughing. Comin’ in person is usually a friendly gesture, I would know, cos I live even further away from here than she does and last I checked, I wasn’t the portin’ type, and we have no emergency, I am here to see my son and my best friend. That’s what people do, Stryker. I don’t know how she got here either or why, but knowing how all those vamps can just hop all over the place, my money’s on that. And on that note, I will grab that toddler and hope Connor has something to stuff in his face, cos Chris looks ready to holler for food in the worst way, I know that look from my little girl, when that kid gets too hungry she goes from royal princess to royal pain purdy dang quick. Yer Sophie is comin’ out here anyway, so I’ll let y’all have some privacy. Oh, and try not to find another way to die again.” Jack pat Stryker on his shoulder, then picked up Christian, greeting Sophie in the doorway as he headed in and she came out.

The way she looked at Stryker when their eyes met, the way she hurried over to him, the way she hugged him, told him all he needed to know. She confirmed it with a kiss.

He made her sit down in the chair he had been occupying, looked at the one next to it, considering pulling it closer, but sat on the armrest of the one Sophie was in instead. The closest he could get to her, Sophie ran her hand across his cheek, which he took as an invite to kiss her again.

“How are you feeling? You look well.” she asked, genuinely, making his heartbeat increase. In the non-concerning way.

“Much better now that you’re here. That week with you just flew by, and I have been missing you and the kids the second I had to leave, it literally been two days, but feels like two months since I last saw you. How’s Spencer? And how are YOU? And the other kids?”

“We’re good, all missing you. Spencer’s okay, he’s a teen and resilient.” Sophie smiled.

“How did you get here? Nobody told me you were coming or I would have dressed up.” Stryker smiled apologetically.

“Nobody knew until just moments ago, including me. Hailey came by to order a few things for some small event she’s planning, we got to talking, a real good talk, and she decided I needed to go see you. So, my parents are looking in on the kids, since they have school, and I am here to take you back home with me tomorrow, for a longer time this time, maybe a month, after which we’ll see how we all feel about it, if you want to come that is, but I am staying overnight cos Connor felt too much porting too often would be bad for you. But I had to promise Connor a lot of things. Like, absolutely no … exercising … with you unless I watched you take your pills. I can’t believe I talked to him about THAT, this is so not me.” Sophie blushed.

Stryker couldn’t help but smile.

“If I want to come? Are you kidding Soph? I want nothing more than that! Don’t worry about talking to Connor, he’s a doctor, the things I had to talk to him about, not to mention show him, are WAY worse. I really enjoyed that ‘exercise’ that one night, never had a chance to say that. No regrets. Still.” Stryker smiled, and Sophie couldn’t help but notice how the sunlight made his blue eyes so bright they competed with the blue of the ocean nearby.

“Oh, but I had enough regrets for both of us. Imagine you would have died, Stryker. I would have blamed myself for killing you with … that … while our son would have blamed himself for killing you by being a bratty teen, messing him up for life. No thank you.” Sophie grimaced.

“Soph, I am okay. I know I should have taken my pills, Connor and Jackson were always riding my ass about it and I thought they were just being extra. Lesson learned. If nookie, definitely pill. I just need to be special, I guess. Most men my age with their health as shitty as mine is take a pill before sex, I have to take one after, so I don’t die. Jeeze, how did I ever get here? Well, I know how. Had you told me this was my future when I was Spencer’s age, I would have laid down on the train tracks then. Too late now, got too much to lose and I actually want to live.” Stryker sighed.

“Yeah, our Spencer. He used to be the sweetest, quietest, calmest little boy, with those big blue eyes. I don’t recognize him sometimes. Knowing that Keanu’s 13th birthday isn’t far away scares me. Two teen boys? OMG! Send help!”

“That’s my fault. Had I been a decent dad, he would still be a sweet boy, with some teen angst and outbursts. And Keanu is not gonna give us grief. He is the mellowest little boy. Total laid-back surfer dude attitude, probably because we made him during a vacation in Sulani.”

“Oh man, I remember, it was the day you proposed to me, you knelt down in the water, both of us in swimwear. We need to stop with the blame game, Stryker. The only way to make all this work is to start with a clean slate. I know this is going to sound strange, but after having a few tastes of being a husband and wife again, I realized I do want this back badly. I know we should do this slow and in baby steps, but I don’t know if I can and this isn’t like the usual situation where two people get divorced and then realize they wanna try again. This has been sheer chaos, and we don’t have the option to meet for a coffee after work to inch closer. You are on the other side of the country from me, so it’s either jumping in with both feet or let it all go. I can’t let you go. We didn’t get divorced because we fell out of love, we got divorced because your addiction got the upper hand. This cannot be measured by standard procedures. I spoke with the children and they are all ready for you to come home too. All of them. Including Spencer. That’s why I am really here. To talk about all that with you, with Connor – and with Jackson. I don’t want him to feel left out of all this after all he has done for you, for us. Same with Connor. Then again, me being here was his mom’s idea. To quote Hailey ‘fuck what others think you should do, and do what feels right, cos it is YOUR life and YOU get stuck living it, not them!’. So, fuck it, Stryker, you coming home feels right.” Sophie said softly.

“I am not sure I ever heard you say that word before, Soph, kinda hot coming from such a wholesome girl like you, hehehe. Joking aside, I’d love to have a permanent home again; especially one with you and the kids in it, and I am so tired of getting handed around like a newborn whenever Jackson wants to be a young man and enjoy his life for once. I feel so bad when he has Bri over and I am in the way everywhere like an oversized paperweight with eyes. That boy has been so good to me and I am just in the way all the time, I am like some teen pregnancy he got stuck raising. I’ll miss him, but he needs to have his own life now. Twenty years old and taking care of some invalid old fuck he’s not even related to. Poor guy. If you really mean this Soph, please don’t hope for me saying no, cos I won’t. I am ready to talk to Connor right now. I wanna come home, Soph.”

“Of course I mean it, Stryker, I wouldn’t joke about that. Fine, let’s go, let’s have Connor tell us that we’re crazy. Oh, speaking of the devil, he’s waving for us to come in now anyway.”

Laughing, they went inside when Connor called them for lunch.

“Connor, no offense, but … what is that?” Sophie grimaced at the serving platter as she was about to grab while helping him get lunch set up for everyone.

“Avocado toast. His favorite. Also known as ‘vodka toast’ in this household, evidently, but only under severe protest by his mother and me. Spoiler alert: no booze in it. Sorry to disappoint.” Connor said, pointing at his son, who was pulling faces.

“Yucky!” Christ proclaimed, pointing at the food.

“Hey, you traitor. It’s what you wanted!” Connor defended himself.

“Looks like a squished bug, daddy and I don’t want to eat bugs. Eew. Mommy makes it different! I want mommy to make it!” the little boy whined.

“We don’t have mommy here right now, this is what you wanted, it is as good as it’s gonna get, so quit being such a brat. Just try it, it may not look great, but I tasted it, and it tastes exactly like … well … like that does.” Connor grumbled.

“Not to be super-impolite, Connor, but if I can be honest, I don’t want to taste whatever this is either. I may not be mommy, but I think I can do better than that, no offense Connor, but I think we found your weakness. How about you boys go set the table, I always tell my children we don’t eat standing at the kitchen counter. Hey Chris, you lil sweet pea, since daddy’s food fell through, mind if Auntie Sophie tries? But you have to tell me what sounds good to you. So, you like avocado, young man? What else would you like to eat with the avocado? You like tomatoes? Are onions okay?” she smiled at Chris.

“Yes. And I like chocolate. And peanut butter and salmon. And quekulay.” he told Sophie, who looked up puzzled at Connor, who explained laughing

“Oh, the quekulay and the ‘vodka toast’ will be the death of me. He means crème brulée. His mom ordered it last time we went out, she let him have a taste and that was the last she saw of it, he snagged it from her and refused to give it back, so Keira ate my chocolate cake and I got stuck with gummybear pancakes.” Connor snickered, making Sophie giggle.

“Oh, I know how that goes. I have a house full of kids who never eat what they order at restaurants unless you point a gun at their heads. Okay, got it, tough crowd. Avocado, tomatoes, onions, chocolate, salmon, peanut butter and … quekulay. Hmm. Let me see what I can come up with, and maybe we’ll have something with chocolate pudding and peanuts for dessert. Maybe I can design something new and call it Quekulay? And of course, some gummybear pancakes for our lovely host Connor.” Sophie winked at Connor, whose facial expression told her what he thought about her teasing, making her giggle.

“You have to light it on fire! BIIIIIG fire!” Chris instructed Sophie excitedly, but his dad discouraged his idea.

“Hey, you little pyromaniac, we’re not lighting anything on fire in this house. Open flames other than in the fireplace have been banned, ever since Artemis got her tail too close to one of Keira’s scented candles some weeks ago. Nearly gave poor old Morpheus a heart attack when his daughter ran around as if – well, as if her tail was on fire, cos it was – and she almost incinerated his favorite ball, and Artemis was so upset when Keira tossed her in the pool to extinguish her. Luckily, all she lost was some hair, no burn mark or as much as a scratch on her.” Connor laughed, and as if the dog knew he was talking about her, she let out a deep grunt.

“Good thing I keep you on your toes then, should have been a picnic handling such unexpected drama. You’re welcome.” laughed Stryker, right as the front door opened and an exhausted looking Jackson entered with very chipper looking Keira, Izzy and Bri, dropping a bunch of shopping bags by the door.

Jack laughed hard at his son’s traumatized expression.

“Hehehe, you okay there, kiddo?”

“No! I have seen things …don’t wanna talk ’bout it!” Jackson said blowing out air, while grabbing the beer from his dad, taking big gulps on his way to the dining room table, while Bri came over, rolling her eyes at him.

“Big baby! We all had booked treatments at the spa, except him, so I just suggested a little treatment for him too, didn’t want him to feel left out and bored, but of course he is too manly for the couple’s massage I really wanted, let alone a manicure, so I suggested something more private, just in case he wanted to step up his game a little. It was just a suggestion, that’s all, and he’s been acting as if I held him down to get neutered ever since! Of course he didn’t get my hints, but they had pictures of patterns they have done for male clients at the spa, so I showed those to him. Just a little manscaping … down there. No biggie. Everyone does it. But noooooo … big old Braveheart here took one look at the pictures and literally ran out the door to hide in the car and wouldn’t come back in the spa. Seriously!” Bri explained, causing everyone to burst into roaring laughter. Everyone except Jackson, who just sighed.

“I ain’t gonna let some stranger near any of that on me unless they have a death wish or I am datin’ them! And that’s a fact!” Jackson retorted

“Oh yeah, a fact, huh? I wasn’t dating you the first time I went near all that and I am alive to tell the … oops.” Bri realized she had accidently said too much, causing both her and Jackson to blush, making everyone laugh even harder.

“Well, at least you were given a choice, Jackson, when Bri showed you the spa’s dick pic collection. I didn’t get a chance to pick out patterns, let alone veto, was barely conscious, when some nurses came at me with razor blades right by my crown jewels and went to town before they put the catheter in. I had some involuntary manscaping, and man it itches growing back in, so I don’t blame you for running. I feel like I have a crab farm in my underpants. And I can’t shake the feeling that wasn’t even necessary, just an extra F.U. for me, ordered by Dr. Connor to get one in on me for ruining his date night with my heart attack.” Stryker said grinning.

Laughing, Connor replied

“I will neither confirm nor deny those allegations against me.”

“Oh boy!” was all Sophie could say to that, starting another wave of loud laughter, even Bri and Jackson had to laugh.

Keira nudged Izzy, both still laughing

“And you were worried about us being so upscale and classy … welcome to our world of TMI, enjoy your lunch as we discuss the below belt business of all men present!” she snorted.